All Good Things

Half-Marathon Training - Week 1

2012-02-12T18:23:00.002-06:00

So on Monday I started my "official" training for the OKC Half Marathon in April. I downloaded Hal Higdon's Novice training app and I love it so far. Basically you plug in your race date and it tells you what to do every single day leading up to the race, including rest days, cross training, etc. I was nervous last week to start training because I had some weird sensations in my leg. It felt sore and I had some shooting pain up and down it. I took last Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off and when I ran for the first time on Tuesday I was very grateful that I could actually run. All those times I was just lazy and didn't go out compared to being able NOT to run really makes a difference.

Monday: Rest day, according to the app. I went to the gym in the morning and did some resistance band training, stretching, ab work, etc. I was all over the place. I really went because I weigh myself on Monday mornings so I wanted to know how much weight I had lost that week. I ended up being there for only about 30 minutes total

Tuesday: First run of my training! I decided to wake up early and run, and I felt great the whole time. But as soon as I got home, my allergies had been set off. I was sneezing and my nose was running the whole day. I ended up taking 2 hours for lunch and went home and slept. I felt awful all day.

Wednesday: I had the option to run 2 miles or cross-train. After my allergy-ridden day, I decided to run after work. It's been cold here, but I absolutley hate the treadmill. The track would have been okay for two miles but I'm not sure how my gps tracking would hold up inside (It didn't work on my runkeeper) the two miles were fine!

Thursday: Another 3 mile run. It was seriously cold and started raining after I got off work. But I sucked it up, dressed in layers and knocked out 3 miles on an out-and-back from my house. I felt great after! I went out for drinks and appetizers with two of my friends and was STARVING.

Friday: Rest day, according to my app. I went to an early-morning yoga class (5:30 came really soon after 2 cocktails the night before) with one of my friends and it was awesome! I've been going to third-street yoga and this morning I tried Kundalani yoga. It's different, uses a lot of breath work and different moves I have never done before. I thought I would feel awake and invigorated like I do when I work out in the morning but I was actually relaxed and didn't have that boost of energy like I usually do when I hit the gym around 6. Sushi dinner and movies with my old roomies made for a great Saturday.

Saturday: on Saturday I was suposed to cross-train for 30 minutes. I didn't end up doing it. I had driven to Norman the night before for Abby's birthday and didn't end up falling asleep until 4 am after hanging out and then talking with Bryce. Then I had to drive back to Edmond early, shower, get ready and drive back to OKC to go Bridesmaid dress shopping for Katelyn's wedding! The whole crew was there. We started off at the mall and after not finding much we snuck an appointment to a bridal store, we found a dress (like, exactly what Katelyn wanted) that was gorgeous, all got measured and got the dresses ordered! We had a late lunch/dinner at Cafe 501 and I had a red velvet cake ball. For some reason I've been craving sweets (especially red velvet cake) like no other! I don't keep chocolate in my house because I'll seriously eat it all. I'm so excited for Katelyn's wedding. It seems like just yesterday we were laying in our beds in the sorority house talking about when we would get married! Then I drove to my parents house to do some laundry, and I ended up falling asleep very early. I was exhausted.

Sunday: I had been dreading this run all day. I knew that Sunday's were my long run and it was freezing cold outside. I'm at my parents house so I drove to a park in town to try to knock out the 4 miles I had to run. I procrastinated all day when I just decided to get it over with. It was about 25 degrees outside when I finally went. The first 2 miles were just dreadful and then I hit my stride at mile 3. I fought the last mile the whole time. The wind was blowing and I was just so mad. But when I looked at my time, I realized my 4 mile time had been improved by 5 minutes! I was shocked. A few weeks ago I ran 4 miles in 55 minutes. I think the fact that I wanted to get out of the cold and I didn't have to wait at stoplights like I do in Edmond helped me with my time. I rewarded myself with a blonde roast coffee from Starbucks, and when I got home my dad had made salmon and a sweet potato for dinner. Even though I hated my life during, I felt great after!

So far I'm pretty happy with my app purchase. I think $10 is a lot for a running app, but the fact that I have every single day planned out for me really seals the deal. Whenever I start walking, Hal gives me a motivational quote to start running again.

I think every Sunday I'll post a recap of my training that week, just for my purposes and hopefully you guys find this interesting... idek I could talk about learning how to run all day.

I'm finishing one load of laundry and then I'm going back to Edmond to clean and relax before another long week of work. Next weekend I'm heading down to Dallas with Jess to run in The Color Run! If you've never heard about it: The Color Run. It's not a timed 5k, so it will be a fun race to remind me why I'm doing this, anyway. I'm so excited!

Mal xoxo

Miles run this week: 12.04

Evolution of a Healthy Eater

2012-02-07T11:30:00.000-06:00

(Photos from Here I love healthy-eating, summer tumblrs!)

Last week my parents came up to eat lunch with me and my mom wanted to go to Jimmy's Egg. I immediately was repulsed and asked to go somewhere else for lunch.

6 months ago I would have had creamy biscuits and gravy, pancakes, and a tall glass of chocolate milk sitting in front of me.

It's interesting how my view of food has changed. Okay yes, I haven't gone cold turkey. I still eat Reese's Hearts, goat cheese, Pei Wei, chicken strips, sushi, cinnamon graham crackers, caramel swirl coffee and melted cheese (on everything) but I also eat salad.

Salad with grilled chicken and candied almonds and fresh, watery cucumbers, with sweet, crunchy carrots and rich, creamy avocado. With a fresh apple that's sour, but not too sour and expensive mozzarella. (Because it's worth it). I eat warm, mushy sweet potatoes and pan-seared tilapia. I eat raw, crunchy asparagus and fruit! I eat so much fruit! Nectarines, apples, raspberries, bananas, melons, grapes, strawberries! And then when I go to eat a giant piece of chocolate I think about my food choices that day. Was I smart? Did I indulge? Did I work out that morning? How many miles did I run this week?

I feel that it's all about balance for me. Spiritually, mentally, and physically. I work out in the mornings, sure, but I'm not required to. I listen to my body, and if it says that I need another hour and half of sleep, I usually turn my alarm off and fall right back to it. But most of the time my spirit craves a 3 mile run. It's good for me.

I love the feeling right after a long run. I feel empty, starving, I smell, my legs burn, but I feel strong, skinny, invincible. I feel like I've done something I would have never thought I could- when I started running I could only run 90 seconds.

And when I'm finished with a long cold run I don't want to eat a giant piece of fried chicken (ok so maybe I do sometimes) I want to eat veggies and fruit and peanut butter.

Balance has always been an aspect of my life that I'm bad at. And to tackle this "healthy living" thing head-on- well, I guess that's the only way to do it.

I've noticed so many changes so far- first of all I've lost 17 pounds. But, my skin is clear, my hair is shiny, I feel energized throughout the day, I keep my living space clean and sparse, I don't feel bloated or hungover (mainly because alcohol has been one of my major sacrifices), other people have been noticing, my clothes fit well and I can feel my collarbones (my favorite part of all this)

It makes me feel like I've been let into this secret that no one knows about.

I still have a long way to go - I want to get to the weight on my Driver's License. But to take it one step at a time is the best way. Yes, today I would like to eat a Red Velvet cupcake, but instead I'll have a fresh salad with chicken, avocado, goat cheese....

Mal xoxo

Why I Love Wallace Stevens, But Hate bball1989.

2012-01-27T16:55:00.000-06:00

I'm sure you've seen the videos floating around Facebook (posted by high school and youth group friends, no doubt). They're spoken word pieces, all written and performed by the same guy. Here's probably his most popular:

Also this one is quite popular/posted a lot:

And he has others that pop up every few weeks. Slam Poetry and the collision of new media is not something new. I have discovered great poets through YouTube, such as Sarah Kay and George Watsky. But there's a difference between the people I consider true poets, and this guy.

The reason his videos are becoming so popular with my generation is because they deal with tough issues. Issues that we're not used to hearing about on our Facebook feed or over coffee or even at our LifeChurch sermons. They are things that young people need to consider and deal with. They are moments that once or twice in our life we are forced to think about. Problems that happen to us. Questions we have about religion and God and sex and love and marriage.They are things that we need to know about, know our stance on the issue to become successful, well rounded adults that are attempting to understand this complicated world we live in.

My issue is not with the issue. It's with the way it's presented.

These are not edgy poems. They, might be in fact the safest poems I've ever heard in my life.

Let's back up a bit, shall we?

My undergrad degree was in English, Creative Writing, with a focus in Poetry and a minor in Literature, not to mention being a reader for my whole life. I know a little bit about the art and the grace of spoken word. I had an amazing poetry professor for 2 semesters that encouraged us to explore the world of poetry (and it's a big one), take risks in our writing, and love things that we had never loved before for fear of looking stupid, or different. He taught us to write a poem, and then edit it like it was a refrigeration filled with magnetic poetry words, moving them around to create the perfect piece of art. We learned that writing a poem could last as long as 5 years, and to never present something to the world that wasn't finished. Make sure we were producing art, not just words.

I feel like this guy wrote these poems in 5 minutes.

There's no work, there's no sweat, there's no glory or heart. There's no pride or integrity of work. There's just cleverly rhymed words and phrases. There's an attractive, young man, talking to you, showing you modern colors and camera shots, telling you that this is your opinion. That this is the the new era, the new age, the new generation. He's not letting you think for yourself. He's not letting you interpret how you feel about the subject. He's giving you a flashy opinion that you can share with your friends over bible study. Then you drink your coffee and eat your cupcake, and go home with the same thoughts as 17 million other people.

Don't you want to grow? Don't you want to figure out things for yourself? Don't you feel like he's dumbing down the issues? I

If you really want a poem dealing with religion vs. God, pick up Wallace Steven's Sunday Morning. Read the words. Then read them again because you probably won't understand them the first time (I sure didn't) Let them soak into your brain and try to figure them out. Put the book down and take a walk, and come back and read it again. Then write about it. That's art. That's magic. That's religion.

These videos, and the reaction that comes from them, is a commentary on our generation. Yes, I love my iPhone and the fact that it can reach the moon and back just from me sliding my finger across the screen. I love the fact that my Chick-Fil-A comes out of the window before I can reach for my debit card, that quickly deducts money from my bank account. I'm 23. I love things that are quick and fast and I can move on to the next task in my life. That's exactly what this video is doing - giving you lessons on love, sex, religion, and life itself in a 4 minute video.

I don't know about you, but I'd rather take some time to think about these things. I'd rather spend 2 hours at church on Sunday morning. I'd rather read literature, and science, and take long walks on Saturday afternoons. I'd rather write in a prayer journal every night to figure out just what this whole thing is all about, instead of watching a video of a guy I don't even know, suggest to me what I should be thinking.

The other day I decided to watch a LifeChurch sermon. A lot of the tweeters on my feed were using the hashtag #lcbetter so I decided to watch the first video in the series. I watched the first sermon all the way through and turned it off to run some errands. All day all I could think about was the logo and the marketing materials they used for "Better". I kept thinking, man they must have a good graphics designer and I love the way they used a parody of the Orbit girl to open the conversation and I could not for the life of me remember what the sermon was about! All of the "extra stuff" distracted me from what the church was trying to get across.

But when I read Wallace Stevens, I have to pay attention to the words. That's all there is.

I'm not saying that bball1989 or LifeChurch is wrong about any of the messages that they are trying to send. In fact, I mostly agree with what he's saying. I'm just saying it's not for me. I like simple, not flashy, and I like to figure things out for myself.

And I encourage you to figure things out for yourself too.

Mal xoxo

Who Do You Want To Be This Year?

2012-01-24T10:43:00.000-06:00

For the past few months I've been writing for my Sorority's Alumni Blog about Recent Graduates. This month was an extra fun piece to write. I tend to relate to a lot of the issues in my life back through TV shows (kill me, right?) I really liked the way this blog turned out. I'll give you all a sneak peek, then click the link to read the rest of the entry! Let me know what you all think!

"How I Met Your Mother" - Photo Courtesy of CBS

I was watching an episode of “How I Met Your Mother” the other day, and the story line for the episode was about each individual cast member’s doppelganger. There was someone in New York City that looked like each of the characters but had a completely different persona. There was Mexican Wrestler Ted, Stripper Lilly, Cab Driver Barney, and so on. They are looking for the doppelgangers through the entire series and it’s a fun story line added into the show. But at the end of the epsiode, as Ted comforts Robin about a recent breakup, he says:

“We’ve all been searching for the five doppelgangers, right? Well eventually, over time, we all become our own doppelgangers. These completely different people who just happen to look like us.”

For some reason, when I heard that statement, it hit me like a brick in the face. Whenever we grow up – we become completely different people. There’s always a new beginning or new opportunity staring us straight in the face. And it’s the choice to take that new beginning and run with it or leave it on the table and walk away the same person we were.

To read the rest of the entry and check out fabulous Sigma Kappa bloggers, click the link: Live Sigma Kappa

Updates on life coming in the next few days!

Mal xoxo

You Just Popped into Kanye West's Get Right For The Summer Workout Tape!

2012-01-21T10:25:00.001-06:00

For the past few weeks I've been feeling great! I know I wrote a little bit about the classes/running I've been doing lately, but I wanted to go more in-depth of my routine now and the way it's going to change when I start training for the half-marathon on February 6th.

I'm now at the point where my alarm goes off at 5:30 am every morning. I don't head into work until 8:15 so that gives me ample time to wake up, greet the world, and get into the mood I need to be to handle the rest of the day. About 4 days a week I throw my workout clothes on and drive the short distance to the wellness center. I don't have a specific plan when I get there so I'll either run a mile, walk a 30 minute program on the treadmill, hit the resistance bands or run around the track. I almost always do a core-strengthening sequence. I'm usually there about 45 minutes. I like going in the morning because it gives me so much more energy throughout the day. For the past 2 weeks on Wednesday I've been going to a Power Pump class at 6:00, which is weightlifting.

I really do not like weightlifting. But I know that I need some sort of strengthening class or circuit because I'm wanting to run long distances and my muscles need that type of resistance. The teacher is very nice and I feel so strong and invincible the whole day after. So even though I'm literally staring at the clock the whole time when it's over I'm glad I went.

On Mondays for the past few months I take a Zumba class at night with a friend I know from college that teaches it. It's kind of one of those "fun" workouts. I really love to dance and her Zumba routines aren't cheesy at all. She's danced her whole life and it's fun to know people in the class. It's a good hour of cardio that I barely even have to think about.

On Thursdays I go to a class called Happy Hour Yoga. It's at a cute little yoga studio down the street and it's AMAZING. Yoga just makes me feel so so good. The room, the smells, everything just relaxes you and it's great after all of the exercise I've been doing in the days before. This class is kind of my "treat". It's more expensive then any of the other classes ($10 for 2 or more classes, yikes!) but I actually think it's worth it. The studio is so close to my house and I feel myself getting stronger each time I go.

On Saturdays (and any other day if the temp is over 55) if the weather is good I will go for my long run of the week. At the Wellness center I hate running long distances on the treadmill and the track makes me feel dizzy and like a hamster. I don't mind running in the cold or the dark but the combination of the two does not look attractive to me. When it gets warmer I might consider running outside in the mornings, but right now when I switch to half marathon training I'm going to be doing my runs at night.

These 3 weeks have kind of been a "test" period to see what I want to indulge myself in the next few months.

The program I'm going to use is Hal Higdon's Half Marathon Trainer. It was an iPhone app that cost an arm and a leg but I figure it will be worth it. It's a little more in depth than Couch to 5k, but the same idea. I put in my race date and he literally plans every single day up to your final race date. Here's what the plan is and what my plan is:

Monday: Rest day. (I'm still trying to decide if I want to drop Zumba :/)

Tuesday: Run day.

Wednesday: Run/Cross. (This is when I'm going to be cross training with the weights class)

Thursday: Run day.

Friday: Rest (I've decided to switch Happy Hour Yoga with sunrise Yoga which is at 5:30 am on Fridays)

Saturday: Cross (Not sure what I want to do here)

Sunday: Long runs.

So that's how my schedule is going to change! I'm so excited to start this new endeavor. I feel like this is something I can really accomplish and I had no idea it took so much work and dedication. But I can't even imagine the feeling that I'm going to have after.

One thing I'm also trying to figure out is the timing. I like getting up early and being awake for a few hours before work, but I don't like running long distances at the gym. I'll have to see how the weather goes if I want to run outside in the mornings. We've been having a mild winter in OK so it might be do-able.

When it comes to my eating habits, working out definitely makes you want to eat more clean. Of course I do have my slip-ups and indulgences (sushi and there was a Pei Wei incident yesterday) but overall I've been eating cottage cheese, salads, english muffins, fruit, veggies, sweet potatoes (my newfound love), chicken and wraps. No Diet Coke anymore either. And you know what? I don't even really miss it.

Another thing I'm learning to live without is alcohol. Of course I still love it (I went to the real Martini Lounge Happy Hour last night) but I'm not going out and getting drunk. I know it won't be good for my training and it's hard to say no. I've definitely told me close friends I won't be drinking that much and I am training for a half so they know when to invite me over to watch YouTube videos and drink coffee and not to invite me when they are going out to a club. I've struggled with the fact that I'm missing a "good time" but in the end I would sacrifice those nights for looking the way I want to look and accomplishing something I'd never thought I would do. My friends will love me just the same.

This post turned into a really long entry about my current life at the moment but it's something that has been on my mind for a while and really what's been going on.

I'm excited to embark on this journey! I'll be documenting my highs, lows and everything in between here.

My ultimate goal is hanging in my living room: a tiny yellow polka-dot bikini!

See you guys this summer,

Mal xoxo

Updates for the Masses

2012-01-17T19:04:00.002-06:00

Here's what's been going on the past week or so:

Last week I went a little overboard on the fitness classes. I went to Zumba on Monday, Yoga on Tuesday at UCO, Weights on Wednesday morning, and Yoga Thursday night at the studio by my house. All while working out at 6 in the morning too. But then on Saturday I turned around and had the best run of my life. 3 miles straight with no stopping. I never would have believed that I could have done that but I think the stretching, combined with the weights and the yoga really helped my endurance and breathing. It made me so excited for the half-marathon in April. I finally felt like I had a runner's high.
Then I turned around and tried to run on Monday and it was the worst of my life. I was slow, it was windy, my leg started aching in the place it always does. I find out later that it seems you are suposed to have a bad run after your really good one. I guess it's a thing.
I've been really driven lately when it comes to weight-loss. It's so hard to stay motivated and eat healthy and I really really want this THIS YEAR. Some things I do to help me stay on track - browse the Pinterest "fitness" boards, look at the yellow polkadot bikini that I ordered from VS, watch the Biggest Loser, drink water with lemon (all day every day), look at my milestone schedule, think about why I don't want to weight as much as I do.
Here's my milestone schedule: I'm wanting to lose a total of 73 pounds. So for the first 20, I'm going to get a massage, for the next 40, I don't know what I want to do, for 50 I'm throwing myself a party, and I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do for the next 60. But for the end result, the 73 pounds, I'm going to get a new Driver's License since what is on my license now is my ultimate goal weight. It's really slow going, but I know it will be worth it in the end.
Last weekend I went and saw Beauty and the Beast with some friends, and it was as good as I remember it. I also saw Joyful Noise and it was cheesy, awful and I loved it all the same!
On Sunday I volunteered with the Regional Food Bank of OK and some of the students that I work with on campus. It was fun and I was glad I had the next day off so I could go home to do laundry and decompress.
My post on LiveSigmaKappa should be up in a few days - but I'm going to post it here as well so I have a record of it. It's one that is close to my heart and I have thought a lot about. I really like it.
Work has been busy as we gear up for this next year. I'm enjoying it though, lots to do!

I guess that's it for now - I'm off to yoga!

Mal xoxo

Coffeeeee

2012-01-07T09:48:00.001-06:00

This morning I have plans to run 5 miles.

Ambitious, no?

I never thought that I would have ever typed that sentence in my entire life.

Of course, I'm not straight running the entire time. I walk, I run, I jog, I do whatever my little heart feels like it. I don't think that's the most logical way to train for a half marathon but when it comes to exercising I find the more natural approach to be the most satisfying.

I mean, if I can run/walk/job 4 without falling over dead, why not 5?

Last night started my training as an editor for http://leakynews.com. I'll be covering Parks and Recreation stories every week/day so make sure to go visit and learn about Knope 2012. It's exciting to have opportunities like that, so one day I can fufill my dream of full time blogging/writing for Entertainment Weekly.

It's a beautiful Saturday morning filled with loads of possibilities -- so I'm off to start my day!

Mal xoxo

Hello 2012!

2012-01-03T19:31:00.003-06:00

I'm starting off this year with a few adjustments in my life. I've been sprucing up my living space, running around town dropping off dry-cleaning, picking up groceries and getting myself ready for a new start. It's a good time to be productive and focus on my goals and priorities for the new year.

I'm ready to tackle my relationship with food.

I've been reading Women, Food and God and already 2 chapters in it has been changing my life. I love the approach the author takes connecting food and spirituality. Fueling ourselves is such an important part of life (we wouldn't survive without it) and the way that we handle food is the way we handle emotions. When we're happy, when we're stressed, when we're calm and when we're centered reflects on the way that food fits into our lives. It's such an interesting read, and I'm loving the introspection that comes with reading a book like that. I'm ready to grow up and out and take care of myself the way I need to.

I'm ready to digital detox.

Inspired by this post and this post, I'm learning these women found their balance by stepping away from everything that connects us. I've decided to take a clue from them and unplug from Saturday night to Monday morning. No Facebook, Twitter, texts or calls, no checking my phone every 5 seconds or reading all the blogs in my Google Reader. I want to take a long walk around my neighborhood, listen to a new CD, read a book, go to Church or just sit. I'm not making any plans or obligations and I'm going to use that time to recharge and start the new week with an open and fresh heart.

I'm ready to accomplish what I haven't before.

See the Grand Canyon. Run a half marathon. Go to Burning Man. Audition for a musical. Send a message in a bottle. This goals and tasks keep running through my mind and I'm constantly feeling the need to fufill them. Is it too cheesy to say that I undoubtably KNOW that this is my year?

I feel so great about the upcoming months and the things to come. I can't wait to look at this in 2013 and see what the year turned out to be.

Mal xoxo

Goodbye, 2011.

2011-12-31T12:28:00.000-06:00

This year has been one of the most confusing, challenging, and stressful years of my life. I can't believe that it has gone by so quickly. For the past few days I've been reflecting on where I was a year ago and so so much has changed. I started my full time job, I moved out on my own, I've given up on some college habits and now I'm really ready for my best life to begin.

Last year at this time, I just graduated college. I can't believe it's been a year since I graduated college.

I realize now how hard it is to make that transition. I used to think my older friends were blowing it out of proportion but a year has gone by and it truly was such a crazy time. Now I see my friends going through the same thing. I can talk to them and be there for them but it's not really going to matter - it's something you have to go through alone.

These few days at the end of the year are always so fun because all of my friends from college convene in Oklahoma City to be together for a few days and ring in the new year together. I love seeing everyone from my past and looking forward together as they change and grow and as I change and grow.

For some reason, New Years has been one of my favorite times because there's a bright sparkly year waiting for all of us when the clock strikes midnight. There's so much possibility in that one moment. It could be the year you win the lottery, or finally write the book you've always wanted to. It could be the year you run a marathon or fall in love. It's a chance to start over, to kick old habits and bring in new ones. Sure you can change any day of the year, but there's something so magical yet so human when we all decide to do it together.

I've learned so much about myself this past year and I'm so thankful that I have this little corner on the web to go back and see how much I've changed. I'm glad we (A & B) decided to stick with blogging and I'm lucky to go back and read where I was a year ago today (the worst hangover of my life, thanks to fourlokos. Is that still a thing?)

The best things about 2011 are kind of simple. KakaoTalk and the fact we have all the transcripts from it, the great music that came out and getting to go to Watch The Throne, thundering up with friends and via Twitter, growing up, my friends growing up, the relationships that have evolved throughout the year and the lessons I've learned from it. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, running and loving it, Spotify, kicking the soda habit, Parks and Recreation, Tumblr, and the list could go on and on.

My new years resolutions last year were pretty basic, the main one being write more. I think I did do that, and although I didn't skydive, I was a part of a flashmob and I think I did simplify my life a lot comparatively. My resolutions this year are to drink more water, become the healthiest I can be, and always try to remind myself where I've been and how it can help me where I'm going.

I feel like there's great things around the corner and I always pray for purpose and direction in my life. I'm so thankful for God's hand protecting me and leading me where I need to go.

I hope everyone has a great New Years and takes this time to reflect on 2011. It was a good year, but 2012 will be even better.

Mal xoxo

Christmas Celebrations.

2011-12-26T19:22:00.000-06:00

I'm not much for Christmas.

Ever since the steady decline of good presents from my parents, my favorite part of the holiday season was the fact that I could come from from college and nap 24/7 and watch my parent's cable.

But this year I suppose I got into the spirit more than usual. I was a regular elf, bouncing around Edmond, shopping for my friends and wrapping gifts while watching The Office on Saturday afternoons. All except baking cookies and treats - I'm still in beastmode. (12 lbs down).

When I finally headed home, I watched "The Santa Clause" and "The Sound of Music", the latter not being a Christmas movie but one that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I had about 3 separate holiday celebrations. Since none of my family lives in Oklahoma, the time spent with my parents was familiar and fun - our annual Christmas Eve dinner out, waking up insanely early to open presents and then immediately going back to sleep, watching the Disney Christmas parade and eating sirloin steak and king crab legs. But there was two other fun nights that I think I needed.

S and B and I decided to exchange gifts with each other and collaborate on what the other friend would like. I loved shopping for Sarah because I knew that anything that I picked out she would love- and I especially enjoyed spoiling her with extra presents. Bryce was great because I knew what he would like and I loved watching them open their presents (at the restaurant). We ate like kings at The Melting Pot and had one of the best nights I've had with them in a long time. Since we all live different places, it's so nice to have a night with them - uninterrupted.

Then, on Christmas night, Mikey, Jessica, Brandon and I descended on the ThunderDome to attend the Thunder basketball season opener. I have never hung out with my friends on Christmas, but it was so so fun. I think we all decided just to have a blast and not care about how much money we were spending (hello 6$ beers) or what time it was or how many calories we were consuming. The game was awesome as always and we went out to a tiny little hole in the wall bar afterwards. If you've never gotten drunk with your friends at a sketch bar on Christmas I highly recommend it. We went home and all stayed and went to lunch the next day. It's funny how we 4 can have the exact same night over and over again but it never fails to be a complete blast, with new inside jokes and memories.

There's something to be learned about company that you surround yourself with. Although I have about 60% less friends than college I don't think I would trade the quality of friends for the quantity of them. I really had a blast celebrating the season with the people I love.

I'm off for an entire week this week and on the agenda? I'm lucky that it's going to be nice weather. I plan on going tomorrow to buy brand new top of the line running shoes! I've really enjoyed running lately and eating super healthy and clean. I feel so much better, stronger. I need to return some Christmas presents and get my apartment ready for the new year. I'm excited for 2012 and all the changes it will bring.

While you're waiting for the ball to drop - here's a list of songs I've loved this year, via Spotify.

Songs I've Loved This Year

I'm off to watch Breaking Bad with my mom!

Mal xoxo

Hey, Jealousy.

2011-12-14T19:41:00.001-06:00

As I've made my ascent into the post-grad working world, I've noticed something about my interactions that I've never noticed before. I find that my peers (and even people older than me) have very jealous natures about them.

Maybe it's because we're all connected through social media. It's so much more amplified. We all wait for the picture of the ring when a friend posts as a status update, "I'm engaged!" It's impossible not to notice the girls that were popular in high school, peaked in high school when you see that they have "hair school" listed as their education on Facebook and their mobile uploads consist of hundreds of pictures of their kids. But who am I to judge?

I see it everywhere. It's a huge competition (and everyone in their early twenties is invited) to see who makes the most money, who drives the best car, who has the best boyfriend, who's baby is cuter and who is the better mom/wife/husband/father. Who goes to the gym most often and who gets into all the fancy OKC parties. Who can quote the most bible verses and talk about scripture. Who makes the best baked goods found on Pinterest. Who's gotten fat and who has gotten skinny. All the time I hear "Oh they aren't doing anything with their lives," or "She's going to make an awful mom." BUT WE DON'T EVEN ACTUALLY KNOW. Can't we just be happy for the people in and around our lives? Why so much jealously and hate?

I may be one of the worst offenders. Although I am not as vocal as some, I can find myself constantly comparing myself to others my age. "Do I have the right job? Do I wear the right clothes? Am I seen with the right people? Am I skinny enough? Are they judging me?" All questions that float through my head on a daily basis. I'm hoping that this jealously thing is just a phase. Every day I pray for purpose and peace with my life and it's something that I struggle with.

On the flip side, It also makes me sad to see the people around me that are older, and should be wiser, struggle with the same issues. Whenever I get "one-upped" in the gym or hear a woman talking about another in a demeaning way, I try to remove my heart and feeling from the situation. What do they do, sit around and look on Facebook and compare their lives to others? That's no way to live.

It's a "mean girl" mentality, but after it's all said and done, does it really make us feel better? When we're finished talking about the people that need to "get a life" we still have to walk out the door and live ours.

What do you all think? Are the people who are the most jealous/mean just unhappy with their own lives? How can we fix it?

Mal xoxo

Another Chance

2011-12-12T22:03:00.000-06:00

I have just returned home from a 6:20 showing of the movie New Years Eve. Judge me all you want, I am a college graduate in my twenties with a full time job, if I so choose to attend a sappy, celebrity-filled movie on a Monday night in my sweatpants, there's no one on this earth to tell me that I can't.

It was during the viewing of the movie that I began to reflect on one of my favorite holidays and traditions. New Years Eve has always been a special time.

Ever since I was little my parents would let me stay up and drink sparkling grape juice and watch Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve and I would watch the ball drop from my living room in small-town Oklahoma.

Even the past few years have been great - one NYE was spent with a wedding party of one of my closest sorority sisters and although last year was very untraditional I wouldn't take back the memories or the walk of shame that ensued the next morning.

But I was thinking about the reasons why I loved New Years. It's a time to reflect on all of the changes that have happened to me within the past year. I can say without a doubt that this year I have learned more about myself than I ever have before. I've grown, I've made friends, I've lost friends. I've celebrated and I've struggled with all the dramatic changes in my life. I've made and kept and broken promises. I've made dumb decisions and mistakes.

I didn't keep all my resolutions.

But I think that's okay. Because in a few weeks, it's a new year.

I feel such a pull towards 2012. This season of my life is so interesting. It's so much more complicated then High School or even College. I can't imagine all that I have to look forward to in 2012 knowing the things that I know now. (Full list coming soon)

I get pretty sentimental and sappy around this time. I love the lights, the fireworks, the sparkly dresses and the champagne, the anticipation of a New Years kiss. During the countdown I feel like I'm floating in a Taylor Swift song, a moment filled with possibility and excitement for things to come.

It's funny how a silly movie can bring afloat all these feelings about a holiday, but the wonderful thing is it's so universal. Everyone feels this way about NYE and that's what it's such a special holiday.

Even if I'm sitting on the couch in my PJ's watching Ryan Seacrest I know that this next year is going to be even better than the last.

Ciao,
Mal xoxo

PS. I haven't forgotten about Christmas ;)

So, a lot has happened.

2011-12-11T16:00:00.001-06:00

I will now attempt to explain everything that has been going on in my life for the past few weeks, in bullet form.

I've been getting up every morning at 6am to workout. As much as that really really sucks it makes me feel so much better all day. Every morning it's a struggle since it's literally 10 degrees outside. The first 7 minutes are the hardest. As soon as I have my tennis shoes on it's no going back. At my gym, there's TV screens on all the treadmills, with cable, might I add. I have discovered Boy Meets World on ABC Family at 6:00 and 6:30 and lets just say if I don't get a TV that works I have a very cranky workout.
Also still been eating okay. That's probably the hardest thing about wanting to get in shape. Sometimes it's just so easy to eat crappy. And I like chocolate.
Yesterday, I ran my first 5k ever. Like really ran it. But also very slowly. And it was something that I did alone. It was great and when I finished I wanted someone to congratulate me but there was no one there so I just went home and cleaned my apartment. Races are definitely more fun with someone to do it with me. But I also liked running alone so I'm not sure which is better.
Last week I also took a "weekend" aka Tuesday and Wednesday to go down to Dallas to the Watch The Throne tour. Which was incredible. The concert was amazing, and the next day we spent shopping and eating and hanging out around Dallas. We went to NorthPark and went to all the good stores, Urban Outfitters, H&M, Anthropologie, and all the fancy stores too. We then went HAM on some In-N-Out and hit up Ikea, which made me want to clean my apartment like a boss. It was a great 2 days and very refreshing.
After this week and a few days of the next, I have 2 weeks off. Let's get there now.
I've been thinking lately about where I was a year ago today. I was literally freaking out about graduating, money, jobs, and all of the like. Now I have a great job, good friends, a cute apartment and not much to worry about except for getting healthy. I see all my friends going through the same thing that I was and I'm so glad I'm past that place. It sucked being one of the first ones to go through it, but at least I got it over with. I'm really at the place now where I can clean the top of my fridge on a Thursday night and be ok with it. I'm also okay with a Target trip on Friday night and going home, reading a good book, and going to bed. Am I growing up?
Christmas is happening. I kind of hate Christmas shopping, but love Christmas parties.
If anyone knows me really well they know that I love Friends. Whenever I'm getting ready to go out or cleaning my apartment or cooking dinner or on the weekends I just have the seasons playing on a loop. Today I just finished the series for probably the 5th time since I've had the DVDs (Not counting the original episodes and all the reruns I've watched. I still got teary eyed when the camera panned to the last shot of the door. I don't know what it is about that show but I could probably never stop watching it. It doesn't ever get boring or not funny to me.

Well I guess that's it for this Sunday night...

Ciao,

Mal xoxo

This Blog Is Sparkling...

2011-11-27T14:13:00.001-06:00

Lately I've been inspired by the super-girly! I was also alternative/emo/dramatic in high school so I never got to embrace my inner girly-girl. This is what I've been pinning/tumbling this week:

Hope you all have a great week!

Ciao,

Mal xoxo

Weekend Update

2011-11-26T22:11:00.001-06:00

My brain has been turned to mush because of A) too much turkey and B) too much sleep. So this post will be in the form of bullets.

Last weekend I tweeted and asked if I should be watching "Revenge". Everyone said that I should and that it was a great show. And my co-worker also had been watching and she said she loved it. So I laid in my bed at my parents house last weekend and watched ALL 8 HOUR LONG EPISODES. It was the best weekend I've had in a long time. I just want a beach house and that's all I would like in life, even though I KNOW it's shot in front of a green screen. Okay thank you goodbye.
I've been loving my new laptop. Even though the majority of it's use has been to watch Sister Wives on Netflix. I actually like those crazy girls. They seem like nice people.
I've had 4 days off from work so far and I haven't really been that productive. It goes in spurts. Hopefully tomorrow I'll find the motivation to go grocery shopping, clean my apartment and do other "adult" things.
Speaking of grocery shopping, I've been on kind of a strict diet lately. Egg whites, plain chicken, salad with no dressing. It actually really sucks but hopefully I'll see some results come the summertime. I feel like I always talk about weight loss but never really do it. Maybe this is my year.
Last night I was the only sober person in a house full of drunk people. That was something I haven't experienced in a long time and I actually kind of enjoyed it, per the fact I'm not a very comforting/sympathetic person.
I've been thinking about eastern meditation for awhile and today I bought a book on Budhism. I'm just curious about the way other people think and I'm really excited to read it and learn more about being in the present. I also want to go back to yoga.
There is one thing that I've been thinking about a lot this weekend but I can't say until later. I want to tell you guys because it's exciting but I'll make you wait!
In the realm of changing, there's no way that last year I would be sitting on my couch typing a blog entry at 10:30 on a Saturday night, but right now I'm weirdly okay with it.
My first post on LiveSigmaKappa.com went live this week. You guys can check it out here and comment or whatever. I hope that what I'm writing makes sense to everyone and I love that my sorority has given me this oppertunity to share my thoughts with everyone.
Speaking of being thankful, here's a quick rundown: I'm thankful for my job, my parents and the fact whenever I come home they welcome me with open arms, my friends and how the make me laugh and think and grow every day, the Internet and this little corner where I can express my thoughts, creativity, my Friends dvd's, the Today show, lemons, my car, the people that have influenced me throughout my life whether they know it or not, the fact that fruit tastes good and is good for you. Also, Pinterest.

I'm going to go back to watching Friends. I really wish I hadn't watched Revenge so quickly.

Ciao,

Mal xoxo

Pre-Black Friday Shenanigans

2011-11-18T16:32:00.001-06:00

I've never been much of a Black Friday shopper. When I was in college my roommates and I would lay around and talk about how great it was to NOT use coupons and pay full price for things while we were still young. I never really ventured out into the cold when I could be sleeping in my bed, a tummy full of turkey and not out with all the CRAZIES that try to get good deals. (With the exception of Black Friday 2009 where I procured all of the episodes of Friends for 8.99 each. Best purchase I ever made in my entire life) (Also I just checked to see if the Black Friday ads were out because I would really love a Kurig to make me coffee every morning but alas they are not out yet)

But today was a different story.

I work on a college campus with a full functioning Apple Store. You can buy Laptops, iPads, iPods, accessories, etc. It's in a little nook in the University Center and that's where our office purchased the iPads that they distributed us.

Well, they were having a one-day holiday sale. And let me tell you, the prices were literally insane. When I checked the website and saw that a 13-inch MacBook Pro was only $899 I literally died a little.

(Sidenote - I have been a loyal Apple customer my entire life. The first thing I ever saved my money for was a first-gen iPod and I had that for years until I gave it to my mom full-functioning and I upgraded to the touch. I have had 2 iPhones and my first laptop (white MacBook) when I was shipped off to college is still in my possession to this day.)

I love my computer. It's been with me through college, through late night study sessions, through marathon Facebook creeping, through papers and hundreds of iTunes playlists that turn into mix CDs. But it's dying. Last summer the hard drive crashed (luckily I had everything backed up) and I mean really, a piece of machinery that I've had since 2006 may not last much longer.

So I decided to venture out and purchase a new laptop.

(Second Sidenote - I am not currently typing this entry on my new computer. This is the first in the series of contradictions in this post)

The sale was one-day only and was scheduled to start at 9am. It was also on campus so I told my boss that I was going to be late for a very important reason, to help save the economy. He didn't seem to mind.

I really couldn't sleep last night because I was so excited. I lept out of bed into the Wellness Center and rushed through my workout so I could get ready for work and go to the sale.

I got to the place around 8am and was probably the 20th person in line. I sat on a bench for 30 minutes reading Game of Thrones when the fun/action/stress finally started.

FIRST OF ALL, I was sitting on a bench right next to the stairs, so on the other side of the stairs was where another girl that was in front of me was sitting. Around 8:30 a suspicious man stood next to the girl, effectively cutting me in line. I silently noted that and moved on the conversation that was in front of me.

A girl and her boyfriend asked if they could get behind me in line because they were waiting all along and they just didn't want to sit at the bench but they were still waiting. Yes I saw them EATING A CINNAMON ROLL AND DRINKING STARBUCKS while I was patiently waiting in line. Okay lady, whatever. It really didn't matter to me because they were chinese-cutting me so the lady that was sitting next to me let them in.

We then sat for awhile and I saw that the one guy that had cut me turned into two guys. I was kind of mad before but then I got even more upset because what if they took the last laptop and I didn't get one at all? So while I'm silently fuming over this the line grows:

After chatting for awhile with two lovely German exchange students I turn around and the guys are still there. I finally decided to say something so I leaned up to the younger one and said:

"I hope you are not getting the same thing as me and the last one because I saw you cut me."

He literally looked at me like I had lost my marbles.

He said: "I'm getting a 13-inch MacBook Pro"

and I looked at him and he KNEW that's what I was getting too. His friend that was with him was like:

"Lady, calm down I'm just along for the ride"

SEE HOW MOB MENTALITY TURNS YOU INTO A CRAZY PERSON.

So then one of my students that I work with texted me and asked if she could come to the front of the line. I had literally just gotten done yelling at these dudes and I thought maybe that was teetering on the risque side so I said she shouldn't. But then I felt bad so I let her come up in line with me.

I don't know why I wasn't killed today.

Then it was time for the sale to begin.

We start walking in and word comes down through the line that if you say "The Tech Store Rocks!" you got a free backpack. WELL OF COURSE I NEED A FREE BACKPACK CONSIDERING ALL THE CLASSES I GO TO. But when people are talking and they are all excited you just get excited too.

I'm walking in and there's literally so many products in that one room. There's no way I wouldn't get a laptop. But then as people are grabbing cases and keyboard covers and printers I'm like grabbing them too! I met this girl in line and we started talking about how if you buy the extended warranty you get a free printer. I DO NOT NEED A PRINTER. I have a great one at work. But as I got up to the checkout I obviously needed to buy it so I could get the huge ass printer. After I walked out she just looked at me and shook her head.

I waited in line and people kept cutting me which I did not understand. I'm like YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR COMPUTER JUST WAIT 5 SECONDS. While I was freaking out about that I saw a guy that looked like "The Bug" from Men in Black and proceeded to freak out even more.

So here I am. I walked out of the store with a new laptop, apple care, a case and a keyboard cover. Oh and a free printer and backpack. My little white laptop is sitting sadly in the corner of my apartment getting ready to be sold for parts.

I can't imagine what I would be like if I tried to go shopping on Black Friday. There's nothing I really want/need except one of those coffee makers and I'll probably ask for that for Christmas.

It's going to be great to lay in bed next week and watch Revenge on my new screen!

Happy Thanksgiving to me!

Ciao,

Mal xoxo

Birthday Weekend!

2011-11-07T11:10:00.004-06:00

I had a great birthday weekend. This year my birthday fell on a Friday, so I got to celebrate with friends and family the entire time. On Friday, I got to work and my coworker had brought me some donuts. I did some work, then our office went out to lunch to eat for my birthday. After we got back from lunch there was an edible arrangement waiting for me from a friend. I got off work a little early and went shopping/had dinner with some friends, then we got ready to go out that night! We had a great time to say the least

Saturday I had to work a football game in the afternoon but after that I headed home to go to dinner with my parents. We went to Logan's Roadhouse and it was soooo good. I had the filet minion. I have never ordered that before but I was really in the mood for a steak.

Then I went home to my parent's house and went to bed after doing some laundry. I was catching up on my Youtube subscriptions when I laid down and closed my eyes and THE BED STARTED SHAKING!! I opened my eyes and I realized that we were having an earthquake. I was laying there and I decided not to get up but the earthquake was lasting FOREVER. I got out of bed and went into my parents room and my mom was laughing and my dad turned on the TV while I checked Twitter and EVERYONE was tweeting about it. It was so crazy!

Before going out on Friday night!

Oklahoma has some crazy weather. Tornadoes, ice storms, record heat this summer, crazy wind, but I have never felt an earthquake quite like that. My dad said it was the first earthquake he's ever felt. I kinda liked it because it was small enough not to do much damage but big enough to feel. It was quite the experience.

Sunday resulted in a impromptu trip to Norman to shop with some friends. I had a great time and maybe spent too much money. My parents gave me some money for my birthday and I finally bought a high-end hair straightener. I have have my 30 dollar one for awhile and it's just not cutting it. I also bought some cold weather clothes. I'm ready to bust them out but today it's going to be 70 degrees. I know I'll be regretting this but I'm just ready for it to be cold!

All in all, I had a great weekend. This is the first birthday in a long time that I have felt really really loved. So many people did so many nice things for me. All my friends are great.

With that being said, it's time to kick off:

23 THINGS IN MY 23RD YEAR

Lately I've been a little bored with my writing. I'm at the point where I have some free time to try new things so I have created this little project. Hopefully I can get some good writing in and be able to check some stuff off my bucket list. What do you guys think?

Ciao,

Mal xoxo

All Bad Things?

2011-11-01T02:47:00.001-05:00

In a move that's completely out of character, I am up at 2:30 am writing a blog entry.

When I say out of character, I truly mean it. I went to bed at 10:17 last night, but I woke up around 1:00 not being able to go to sleep. I laid in bed thinking about all the things that I wanted to write because usually right before sleep is when my best ideas come. When sleep didn't arrive after my brainstorming session I realized that maybe it's a sign and I should get the words out before I forgot them.

When it comes to being an adult, I go through good days and bad days. Today was kind of a bad day.

There's a whole lot of cynicism when it comes to me handling my problems. Is it wrong to want all my college friends to graduate and not be able to find jobs/go through the same thing I am? I wish that I didn't wish that upon people but it's the only way to make them understand how I have felt the past year.

On the flip-side, the friends that are going through this right now I have absolutely no sympathy for because they weren't there for me when I was going through this, why should I be there for them? Which is a very selfish thought and I try to push that part of me aside.

There's a certain sadness that comes from graduating. You realize you're a not a commodity. Life goes on in college without you. Date parties happen, Homecoming happens, late night study sessions happen. All those things that defined your life, the things you look forward to, the things that you complained about and the traditions that you loved are not only not a part of your life anymore but are still going on without you.

It's a very humbling feeling.

And let's face it, who really wants to be humbled?

There are some days when I feel on top of the world, like I can take on anything. I'll sit in my apartment that I pay for, go to my job that I love and earned, buy the things that I want to because I have the money, and generally thank my lucky stars for the things that I have. There's days where I'm so thankful for my my family and especially my friends that I can't stand it. There's days where I have so much fun at work, with my co-workers and doing something creative that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

But then there's days where being a twenty-something is just sad.

I keep asking my older friends, "What's good about being an adult?" and I've yet to find a suitable answer. I can see where the milestones can be fun, getting married, buying a house, starting a family, but those things are so far off in my life that it's hard to look forward to (and I like it that way I want to have something to do in my thirties other than stare at the wall)

So I guess that's my current quest. Trying to find the good in my situation when it gets to be a bad day.

I don't want this to be a downer post, but let's face it, it's 2:30 in the morning and I can't call my boyfriend to complain (He seems to be non-existent). This stage of life is so overwhelming that it helps so much for me to write it out. I know how short the seasons of my life can be so in a few months I can come back and read this to see how far I've come.

But for now some Sleepytime tea (or maybe a nightcap, after this entry) and blog-reading is on the agenda so I can fall asleep.

Ciao,
Mal xoxo

Halloween and Beyond

2011-10-30T18:01:00.005-05:00

If there's any time of year that's my favorite, it's right now.

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Always has been, always will be. I think there's a few years between adolescence and adulthood where there's not much to do on Halloween.

You can't go trick or treating because you're too old and you can't go "out" because you're too young. I'm so happy to be past that stage and the last two Halloweens that I have had have been great. I love dressing up, going out and everyone that throws Halloween parties always gets really into it.

All of my friends this year had such creative costumes! One of my couple friends was "Twitter" and we got to write tweets on their white boards. My phone has like 10 pictures of them, hahah.

I also love cuddling up on the couch and watching Hocus Pocus and this year I added The Shining to the mix. That movie is scary if you're alone. The fall colors and everything are always so fun.

THEN, I turn around and 4 days later it's my birthday. I was supposed to be born on Halloween but my birthday is far enough behind that people don't group the two celebrations together.

I've never been much of a Birthday Brat but I love seeing my friends when we go out. This year should be fun since my birthday falls on a Friday! Yippie!

After my birthday, there's a few weeks and then it's my second favorite holiday, which is Thanksgiving. If Halloween is the drama-kid side of me (dressing up, going out, being social) then Thanksgiving is the homebody side of me.

My family does holidays the way they should - on Thanksgiving we watch a lot of TV, sleep, eat GREAT food, and never leave the house (or change out of our PJ's for that matter). There's no stress, just laying around and napping while eating yummy turkey and gravy.

Skipping Christmas (because it's really not on the list of my favorite holidays. I try to get in the spirit, but especially last year I worked at the mall during the Holiday) I just think it's a little annoying.

But THEN it's my third favorite holiday which is New Years Eve. The past two New Years have been so fun. I can't wait for this year. 2011 has been so crazy and I've learned and grown so much I can't wait to see what 2012 has in store.

Mal xoxo

College Summers

2011-10-17T10:56:00.000-05:00

I don't know if I've ever expressed this but I LOVE the people that I work with.

I work at a University in the Alumni Relations department doing membership acquisition and retention, and also marketing related things (website, email blasts, etc.)

Our office is small but I love it so much. There's 4 of us on staff and I have been working in this particular place on campus since I was a sophomore as a student worker. Now I work full time and Valerie (who was also a student worker) works with me full time as the Event Coordinator.

Why am I telling you this?

It's crucial to my story that you know that Valerie and I are around the same age and stage of our lives. We're learning about independence and working full time but missing college in the worst way.

SO about once a week we all sit in the main office (with Cindy, the admin assistant) and reminisce about how glorious summers were in college.

We put on the facade that we're telling our precious student worker to appreciate what he has for the next 3 years but I think it's our way of grieving about the good times that we will never get back.

We're like "Keifer, you better take advantage of this time because it will never be the same once you leave college" and he just looks at us and laughs...

Val's story always goes like this - She was living in her sorority house for the summer, paying 100 a month in rent, and babysitting around twice a week. She would just eat Taco Bueno Party Burritos and party every night and there was one week she didn't even get out of bed she just read the entire Twilight series while having food delivered to her and not working.

THIS WOULD NEVER FLY NOW.

Doesn't that sound so great?

This is always my version - Summer 2009 I lived in a friends house while she was gone for the summer. I worked at the Alumni House from 10-3 every day and after I got off work I would be at the pool the rest of the afternoon.

I had no money and a friend gave me about 15 bottles of liquor from her house at the beginning of the summer and I never had to pay to drink. I auditioned for a lot of plays, and I had Netflix and would order entire seasons of Battlestar Galactica to watch on the weekends during the day and at night I had a summer crew that would always go out (to house parties, of course) at night.

It was amazing. I got my nose pierced and I went on tons of dates and talked to tons of guys.

But when I further dissect that summer I realize that I was really sad - my parent's house had just burnt down, I didn't have any money, it was the first summer I was away from them and they were having a rough time trying to rebuild and deal with insurance.

I lost a lot of weight because I was drinking - and not eating and my phone got stolen at a party I went to - I was without a phone for about 2 weeks, sick and I saw no one, like I dropped of the face of the earth. One of my best friends starting dating the guy I liked and although I went out with tons of guys they all really sucked as people.

The romanticizing of these summers was intentional. We're so nostalgic for the worry-free college summer that often I forget what it actually was.

It's fun to go back and remember but now I feel it must be taken with a grain of salt. I'm glad I have those memories but I'm also glad they are over.

So next time we all sit around Cindy's desk and talk about our forgotten college summers I'll still remember the good times- even if they were not so good.

Ciao,
Mal xoxo

PS. The nose ring didn't work out.

Weekend Update

2011-10-16T13:20:00.000-05:00

I think my "nesting mode" might be fully over.

It's so interesting to go through different phases in my life. Lately I've been super motivated to write on this tiny corner of the web to no one but @A and @B and just record my feelings.

I love the fact that I can look back a year ago (or two) and see where I was at the current moment. Hopefully it lasts and I can see all the changes that have been made in my life and how much I've grown.

I'm anticipating the end of this year with an excited heart because I know how significant 2011 has been for me. I think I have learned more about myself this year than any other. I can't wait to see what 2012 holds and how much I'm going to change next year. I know it's only October but I've been thinking about it a lot.

In regards to the last few entries, I have been trying to process all the changes in my life when I realized I just need to give it up to God and let him lead me where I need to go. I wrote "Lifer" and laid in my bed praying that God would protect me and lead me and give me strength and wisdom for my life.

I always read Megan's blog (and of course see her weekly) and am inspired by the work her and her husband put into prayer and solstice with the Lord. I must admit, I'm not very open with spirituality so writing this blog is very out of character for me.

I don't normally put myself out there but as I said at the beginning of this post I want to make sure in the future I know where I was because I think it's important to never forget where you have come from and the mistakes you've made, to not make them again.

Well this post turned into something more than I thought it would be... on with the Weekend Update?

Friday night Jessica and I made a trip to Mikey's house to hang out because it had been forever since we had seen the boys that live in that house. It felt so much like summer. We just watched 90's music videos and played card games and watched Jersey Shore. I had a great time. We all stayed over and got lunch the next morning.

Saturday I headed to Norman, OK for Bryce's birthday party. I had a coffee date with Sara and we talked about all things postgraduate. I feel wise but try not to act too pretentious when I give advice on entering your mid-twenties. I barely know what I'm doing so I don't feel quite that qualified.

I love my KakaoFriends too much for words, I think. They know me so well and it was just so good to see them since our schedules never match up quite that nicely.

I'm in Norman now still writing this blog entry on Sara's computer. It types nicely. On the agenda today is running - sleeping - packing. I'm going to California next week for 4 days for my Grandpa's memorial service.

That's all for now...

Ciao,

Mal xoxo

Friday Survey

2011-10-14T16:36:00.001-05:00

Visiting my Xanga is one of my favorite pastimes...

1.ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOUGET IT?

About a year ago I was playinghide and go seek late at night at a friends house (might have been under theinfluence) and I fell down the stairs. It's a really really nasty scar and Ican't believe that's why I have it.

2. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOKLIKE?

It looks like an iPhone 4 with nocover. I live on the edge, people.

3. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZEDPOSSESSION?

My copy of Ella Enchanted. I'vehad it since the 4th grade book fair. That book has been the one constant in mylife.

4. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?

Not so much literally butemotionally I think I do.

5. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOULIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?

Blondes and Redheads

6. WHO IS THE LAST PERSONYOU MADE MAD?

I would probably have tosay a co-worker or one of the many scumbag guys in my life.

7. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENTLANGUAGE?

Iay ancay peaksay igpay atinlay!

8. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVEKNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?

Probably.

9. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?

When my $250, $75 a month iPhonedoesn't work

10. YOUR WEAKNESSES?

TV on DVD, Vodka Gimlets

11. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB?

Hostess at a restaurant

12. WHAT WERE YOU DOINGBEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?

Wasting time.

13.IF YOU COULD GET PLASTICSURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Liposuction or a breastreduction

14.WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THISSURVEY?

Because I was nostalgic for2005.

15.WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTEDABOUT MOST?

People tell me I'm funny a lot.Sometimes it doesn't translate into writing. I also have great hair.

16.WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOLBECAME ILLEGAL?

Drink it anyway.

17. WERE YOU NAMED AFTERANYONE?

Mallory from Family Ties

18. DO YOU LIKE YOURHANDWRITING?

Kind of, I guess.

19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITELUNCH MEAT?

Turkey all the way.

20. WHAT IS YOUR MOSTEMBARRASSING CD YOU OWN?

Don't even get me started on myiTunes collection....

21. HOW DO YOU RELEASEANGER?

I go to the gym.

22. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOESWHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

No I just slip them off.

23. WHO DO YOU SECRETLY LOVE?

I wish I had a secret love thenmaybe I would have something interesting to write about.

24. FAVORITE SONG AT THEMOMENT?

Wild Heart by Sabi

25. LAKE OR OCEAN?

Lake is too dirty, I'll have togo with the ocean.

26. BIGGEST TURNOFF?

When people have an inflatedsense of self.

27. EVER GONE CRAZY?

You obviously didn't know meDecember through April of this year.....

28. PLAN ON GETTING DRUNK SOON:

Hopefully tonight I will reap thebenefits of the Vodka Gimlet. Thank you and goodnight.

Mal xoxo

Lifer.

2011-10-13T21:55:00.001-05:00

As of late I've been in kind of a reflective and writing mood. I want to make sure I'm documenting the things I'm feeling and learning now so that I can see what was going on in my life a year from now. I've never been a consistent journaler but I think it's important to see where I'm coming from and where I'm going.

I've been kind of going through a weird time career wise. Lately I've been hit with lots of opinions and stories and opportunities and I'm really confused on what I want to do with my life. Don't get me wrong-- I love my job and I plan on staying there for a long time but there's a tiny little Malory on my shoulder chanting....

"Lifer. Lifer. Lifer."

There's a certain culture in the town that I live in. It's not a big place, but there's a large university (where I work doing marketing related things and I also went to school) and a considerable sized population and economy. A lot of the students that went to school at said university try to get a job there. It's pretty difficult (as I've seen on my end) because of the great benefits and the comfort of being somewhere where you know the culture. There are also a few "legends" and staff members that have been around the town FOREVER.

I know it's crazy to worry about - but I'm wondering if that's what I'm going to become. Some days I feel like I could live here forever and some days its so suffocating that I would do anything to move to a blue state. Every day I change my mind. Some days I have small-town political aspirations and sometimes I would love to move somewhere far away and become an English teacher.

That's the frustrating part. I'm only 22. I have NO IDEA what my life is going to hold. I just have to sit back and trust the process and the universe and God or whoever is out there that's controlling my destiny. Sometimes it's hard because I get the overwhelming feeling that this is it. I don't mind it -- but is there something more?

Am I starting to sound like Beauty and the Beast?

Someone once told me that your twenties were the worst years because you're in such amazing shape, you have so much energy and drive but you spend all your time worrying what you're going to become. I'm just so confused on who I am as a person (stay tuned for people that get married young) and how am I supposed to figure that out?

I guess this is just the time in my life I'm meant to feel this way. I should really revel in it and accept it for what it's worth, but it doesn't make it any easier.

Mal xoxo

The Real World

2011-10-12T18:17:00.001-05:00

While browsing through my blog today, I came across thislittle gem of a quote:

"Whenever you tell someone you've graduated college,and they say "Welcome to the real world", it really bugs me. Are theyassuming that my world for the past 22 years has been unreal? Are they hopingthat it will suddenly occur to me that I've been living in a dreamworld since Iwas born? Because it's not going to happen. The earth didn't implode as Iwalked across the stage in my cap and gown, and I'm still learning from lifeevery single day - just without those pesky professors and long researchpapers. Shouldn't that make my life better?"

-Sweet, naive me, January 2011.

My, have things changed.

Right now I'm eating my hat.

I'm the pot, calling the kettle black.

I'm eating a spoonful of crow. (Is that right?)

I was wrong.

November 1st I will have been gainfully employed full-timein my first "grown up" job for 6 months. And as much as I hated whenpeople would tell me that being out of college and working full-time is adifferent world, I know now that it is.

And I really really hated when people told me that.

But as much as I hate to admit it, they were right.

I think back to the time frame that I wrote that blog entry.I was on a DisneyWorld high, I had just made bank at the restaurant during theChristmas season, I was paying $270 dollars for rent A MONTH and I had a greattime galavanting around Edmond and Oklahoma City, eating fancy sushi dinnersand drinking wine and going on dates....

Sidenote: Now that I think about that season of my life, allof the girls that I lived with were having kind of a crazy time. Maybe mybehavior was the product of my environment.

Now that I have been in my job 6 months I realize that Ihave joined a new league of adult.

I have to go to bed at a decent time, I have to shower everyday, I have to wear professional clothes.

I have to pay my rent, bills, and I have to pay for my carwhenever it breaks down (before my parents were taking care of my $600 car billfor new brakes. Now I have to pay it when it overheats and stops in the middleof the road).

I can't go on vacation to Destin or College Station wheneverI so choose and I have to budget my money and learn how to succeed in my joband make my co-workers happy. There's so much to balance and take care of thatit's overwhelming at times.

But honestly, this is going to mean NOTHING to anyone thathasn't joined the "Real World".

You could have stood in front of me with a chainsaw and Iwouldn't have changed my mind. (I don't know what you would have done with thechainsaw but you get the general idea)

Not saying that being grown-up is a bad thing. It's not.It's just - different. I have different expectations and standards of myself asan employee, a friend, a daughter and a woman.

I have more self respect and I may not know what I want outof life but I sure as hell know what I don't want.

It's funny how much I've changed since this time last year.I'm glad I have the sense and the time and the need to reflect on who I am andwho I am becoming as a person.

And although the "The Real World" sucks at times,I wouldn't be anywhere else.

Mal xoxo

Guilty Pleasure TV.

2011-09-21T09:16:00.001-05:00

UPDATE: THIS SHOW HAS BEEN CANCELED BY NBC AFTER 3 EPISODES. GUESS I WAS WRONG.

So I recently got the opportunity to catch NBC's new show, The Playboy Club. It comes on Mondays at 9 Oklahomie time, and but suffice to sat the only two channels I get clearly are CBS and Fox. I don't even think NBC registers. So I watched it today via my NBC iPad app and I'm ashamed to say:

I loved it.

Bryce likes to tell me that I like trash, and I agree with him. I'm a fan of the Housewives series, Dance Moms, The Glee Project, and etc. But I think it's the fact that I'm completely drawn to anything shiny.

The Playboy Club is NOT the best show in the world, but I like it alright. First, it reminds me of something that my parents wouldn't have let me watch when I was little (Baywatch, Buffy) because of it's subtle tones of sexuality (not to mention 60's sexism) so I feel kind of rebellious while watching.

The women have gorgeous hair and makeup, and the men are dressed in skinny ties and suits. Delicious. There's also some musical numbers and I can tell the new bunny is just DYING to be a star. Call me psycho but that's the type of TV I live for. Probably because subconsciously that's the type of live I'd like to live. All mixed in with murder, intrigue, and political commentary. Not bad. I suggest you all check it out.

Another movie that's right up my alley: Burlesque -

(I love Julianne Hough's style, makeup and hair color in this movie. So pretty)

Also, the original movie that made me fall in love with glamour - Chicago:

What are your favorite "guilty pleasures"?

Mal xoxo

Fall Fitness

2011-09-20T11:55:00.002-05:00

This weekend was probably the most low-key I've been since High School. I just have no desire to go out to the bar. Is that so weird? Here's the TV I watched: Season 2 of Friends, Season 1 of Sex and the City and various movies, all while reading Game of Thrones, and giving myself a face mask. Suck on that, State Fair!

Anyway...

I think I've talked about the struggles I face with eating healthy and exercising the way I need to, but I feel like this fall things are going to change a little.

My workplace has a "Employee Wellness Program" that is 8-weeks long. You're assigned a personal trainer and nutrition coach, and you work with them while they design a custom workout plan and help you eat the things you need to. They are there to be your accountability helpers and teach you the things you need to know about being healthy.

So naturally when I decide to do something I do it all the way. I signed up for the program (and it gives you free wellness center access along with the fact that all employees were just granted free wellness center access anyway) and last week I had my first "fitness assessment". I actually have 2 trainers, one is an undergrad and one is a graduate student. They are both super super nice and I feel very comfortable around them. The fitness assessment was.... interesting. I had to do some strength tests, and they measured me all over (which could have been awful but they read the inches in centimeters so I had no idea what the numbers were. She even made me close my eyes when I stepped on the scale. They told me they'd give me my numbers after the program was over, which I think is really cool).

On my paper I wrote that running a 5k is my ultimate goal (fitness wise) and I told her that I had been trying to train on my own for it. Instead of walking a mile, they had me run a mile and a half which I semi-freaked out over. But it was like, I had to do it, they were standing right on the side of the wellness center watching me and counting my laps and cheering me on. At first I thought I would be embarrassed but it was really cool that they were excited for me and motivating me. I told her it's been my goal forever to run a 5k and she said that we'd have that squared away after the program.

And yesterday I had my first meeting with my nutrition coach. I felt like she was my personal counselor since I have such a complicated relationship with food. Along with alcohol, it's such a comforting distraction from the things happening in my life. I spend the better part of this year dining on vodka and Ramen with butter, so yeah, I know that's not a good thing. She's really nice and I can tell she's going to help me a lot with my food intake and what I need to be eating. But as an afterthought, I signed up for e-mealz.com

Basically e-mealz is a meal planning service that you subscribe to, and you receive 5 simple recipes a week, along with an ingredient list for which every grocery store you choose (I picked Wal-Mart) and I also picked the specialized meal, portion control for two people. I printed off my lists and I plan on cooking something great tonight. E-mealz came with a high recommendation from Tonya and I'm really excited about it! Part of the reason I eat so crappy at night is that I don't have the ingredients or means to make something good and healthy for me.

All this comes down to is my final goal to look like this:

She looks sooo good!!!! I can't wait to look like that at all the Christmas parties I go to! I need to post that up on my fridge.

Everyone else on the weight loss train, how's it going? Do you have a mantra that you use (thin by 2010?) Anything? I need accountability partners....

Mal xoxo

Love Adele

2011-09-16T15:21:00.005-05:00

I've always liked Adele since her debut album (when I was really into British artists, Kate Nash, Duffy, etc) but now that she's blowing up I have been loving her style even more! She's so beautiful and such an amazing talent...

Love love love!!

Mal xoxo

Things I'm loving Friday

2011-09-16T09:47:00.009-05:00

I'm already on Season 2 of Laguna Beach. Someone shoot me. Here's our cast looking at a Motorola Razr because it literally JUST CAME OUT. Now if someone had a Razr they'd be practically vintage:

So it's Friday. You can find me tonight at Harkins watching The Lion King. It's where the party is at.

But I just want to take the time to introduce you all to some things I've been loving this week.

1. Fall Boots

I've been mildly obsessed with online window shopping for Fall clothing, especially Jackets and Boots. If anything, I love Fall fashion the most out of anything in the world, and I've always been like that. My mom I remember loved jackets and coats and I think I got that from her. I've been crawling over Pinterest looking for the cutest outfits and have been loving every second. I picked up these boots last week:

I love the simplicity of the brown ones but they are too small for my giant calves. Currently they are in my spare closet with towels shoved down in them. Hopefully the stretch out but if not I'll probably take them to a shoe repair place. I just love them!

The black combat boots are currently on my feet. I tend to stray away from masculine shoes but but I'm wearing a long grey sweater and black skinny jeans. It's perfect for a chilly rainy day like today!

After I got depressed about my boots not fitting over my calves I googled my exact problem and I was led to some plus-sized websites with shoe selections that have wide-calf. Praise the Lord! Next paycheck I'm picking up these babies:

But enough about boots...

2. My iPad 2

I'm so fortunate to have an amazing full-time job that I like and am good at. A few week ago everyone in our office received iPad 2's for business advantages and I'm just learning how to store my meetings and events and organize myself electronically. It's pretty great. And yes, now I have two iPads. How did I get so lucky?

I guess I'll never know!

3. Spotify

Spotify is a music subscription service that just arrived in the US and I am obsessed. You can listen to any album, artist or song, for free. I mean, there's some ads and you don't actually own the music, but when I'm sitting at a computer for 8 hours every day I can listen to playlists I actually create. If you have Spotify here are some of my favorites:

Colder Weather (Brings Country Music)

Late Summer

Fall, Baby.

What are your favorite Spotify playlists?

4. Country Music

I've been LOVING country music lately. I'm not sure what it is (usually summertime is for country music) but I've been listening to Zac Brown Band, Eli Young Band, Hunter Hayes, Taylor Swift, Pistol Annies and Miranda Lambert. I was raised on Country music and I've strayed away for the past few years but now I'm getting back to my roots. In Oklahoma it's easy to go to Country shows and really get in to the culture of the music. Maybe a trip to Nashville is in my future?

5. Snuggly Nights In

Lately I've been in a real nesting mode. I haven't wanted to go out and drink (which is unlike me) and I've been hitting the sack embarrassingly early. I love to snuggle up in my bed with a good book or watching TV on my iPad. It's nice to unwind after a long week and I don't really feel like acting like an idiot and then feeling like crap the next day. I've also started with two personal trainers through an employee wellness program, so I've been wanting to be a bit healthier and I can't do that if I'm not taking care of my body! I feel like after the last year it needs a bit of a detox. So if I can achieve that by laying in bed reading Game of Thrones, so be it! It doesn't bother me. :)

Although a glass of champagne does sound nice.

So that's what I'm loving this week. What are you guys loving?

Mal xoxo

Life Lessons from Laguna Beach, Pt.1.

2011-09-14T19:58:00.005-05:00

So I've been sucked deep down into the world of YouTube beauty gurus, Pinterest, curling wands, and lately I've been obsessed with Hello Giggles and The Beauty Department. I've been prowling the site, and seeing what ol' LC is up to. I've always liked Lauren Conrad since Laguna Beach and I decided to see if my Hulu+ account was streaming old episodes.

It was.

In the span of a day I've watched 4 episodes of Laguna Beach, Season 1.

I obviously have nothing better to do with my time.

It transported me back to 6 years ago, before 3G networks, Facebook, iPhones, 3-D TV's, Twitter, etc. It's weird to return to something that I watched when I was still in HS. In watching some of the episodes I've learned a lot:

We were all way too obsessed with boys in High School. I mean, what would have happened if LC and Stephen really did settle down and get married right out of high school? She would have never created the empire that she did, with her clothing and jewelry and awesome makeup and hair website. Let this be a lesson to all of us. Don't let a guy get in the way of what you want to do.
Who knew there were LDS undertones in the first season? I didn't I guess I wasn't exposed to mormons or BYU and didn't realize there were so many religious themes from Morgan and Christina. Odd.
This was before iPhones. Now I think if you were to film a reality show in a California High School, the majority of the footage would just be kids looking down at their phones. I honestly can't remember a time when I couldn't google something from my phone. Isn't that really sad?
When Christina auditioned for the Broadway show I was like "..."
I didn't know what alcohol was in High School so now that I'm more *ahem* experienced coming out of college, I realize that those kids drank all the time. UM how did they get alcohol? I snuck into a bar ONCE underage and I was so freaked out that I barely drank anything because I was so freaked out. They're all just hanging out in Cabo with their red cups, drinking like nothing's wrong.

So since I'm only 4 episodes in, I'm sure more of these gems will be popping up in the ol' blog in the near future. It's really fun to watch something that I really remember from High School and look at it in a totally different way. More life lessons in the future!

Mal xoxo

My Hometown

2011-09-03T14:36:00.001-05:00

First of all, let me say I love the new Blogger interface. But it's going to take some getting used to.

Second, I am currently typing on my parents computer in the small town of Choctaw, America. I'm waiting for my car to get new tires put on an aligned and I thought this might be a good time to talk about my hometown and what I love about it.

I know you're on the edge of your seats.

Last night I got a taste (or reminder) of what Choctaw is all about. Sometimes, living in Edmond I think my view of the world is skewed. Especially living about 2 minutes away from work/target/the gym I'm very spoiled because those things are so close. Also the people in Edmond are so much more snooty/classy/high matinence. After all, we do live in the #1 ranked Suburb in America. (And we still complain about everything. I don't get humans sometime)

But I'm not orginially from Edmond. I moved up there for school and now since I work there it's really the place I call home. Sidenote: and now that I've moved back close to campus I have not reason whatsoever to go "across the tracks" to east Edmond. Now that's snobby. I've gotten used to the $10 eyebrow waxing and starbucks coffee, and seeing Thunder players at the local Crest. (Do you think James Harden would ever set foot in the Del City Crest? I didn't think so) but whenever I come back to the "world of Choctaw" I'm always so suprised to see how different it is. I've lived in the Choctaw area for around 10 years and there's a certain culture that goes along with it. Lets take a little tour of the "social norms" in Choctaw...

One Choctaw Colorist with a Bad Idea
Why does every single 17 year old have this hair color?

I mean, seriously? WHO'S EVERLOVING IDEA WAS IT TO DYE THEIR HAIR BLACK AND THEN PUT BLONDE STREAKS IN IT? About 70% of the female population has this hair style and it just looks awful. Please, please I will make the appointment at Cottonwood myself for you.

An Excuse to Get Drunk

Does Choctaw have a large Germam population?

No.

Does Choctaw have one tiny German restuarant in the middle of nowhere that puts on a massive beer-drinking festival each year where thousands of Choctownians drink till their hearts desire?

Yes.

Don't get me wrong. I love Oktoberfest. It's great. Good food, beer, dancing, music. But the downside? You see everyone from HS that you never wanted to see in your life. I literally forgot all their names. I HATE THAT. And they all expect you to remember them. Then you ask them how they're doing and they are all still in school trying to graduate (with their kids) and you're all like "yeah I work in Marketing and Education now" and they're all like "oh yeah that's cool" and then you're like "okay see you later" and they're like "okay bye" and you've gained NOTHING from that conversation. So like why put yourself through that torture.

It's actually great people watching. There was a girl there, literally with a whole sleeve tattoo of all the characters from the labyrinth. WHO DOES THAT?

People Who Are From Choctaw and People Who are FROM Choctaw

It's weird. I guess there's some sort of space-time continum that is nearly impossible to leave. I guess it's like this in every town, but there are some people I went to HS with that have never left. I don't know if people peaked in high school and never wanted to leave, but they are all still here, with blonde hair and black highlights, drinking at Oktoberfest and reliving their glory days while they get their associates here:

Not knocking commuity college- I work in Education and I know how important high ed is - but the people that go to Rose barely get out. I'm so glad that I went to a 4-year institution and MOVED away. I think that was so good. There's another type of UCO/Edmond folk that never get out - but that's a post for another day.

A Short List Of Things I Like About Choctaw

Dude's Hambugers (RIP)
Driving at night, and the smell. The air is so much cleaner than OKC
Choctaw Drama and being an Alum of that program
The way people are all the same

I had a great time living in Choctaw, (and I still keep in contact with SOME friends from HS) but I love Edmond so much more. It was nice to come back and see how things really stay the same. I've come so far since HS and it's good to be reminded of that.

Ciao,
Mal xoxo

Personal Style & Self Confidence

2011-08-30T21:28:00.002-05:00

I'm entering kind of a weird time in my life. I'm settling into my job, my house, my responsibilities, becoming an adult and assessing my independence but one thing I've been really into lately is my personal style and my body image which both of those things depend on the other.

I've never been a "stylish" girl. I've always worn pretty neutral things, browns, blues, greens, sometimes purple and ALWAYS black. I have about 10 different black dresses in my closet. I like simple stores, ala Gap, Old Navy, JC Penney, New York & Co. The more simple my clothes are the better.

But I feel like all of that starting to change. I'm getting more into clothes and shoes, accessories, jewelry and most of all, makeup. (Maybe this stumbling onto the world of YouTube beauty gurus but that is a completely different story)

I have to dress up, fix my hair, do my makeup every day for work. This literally sucks.

When I was in college, I work makeup on Friday and Saturday nights, always had a ball cap on, wore sweatpants and Uggs on the daily. I cherished the semesters I took dance classes because that gave me an excuse to wear sweats (not that I really needed one). My junior year I dressed up more than usual because I had an executive position with our Student Government and I had lots of "important" meetings to go to.

But now that I'm a working woman I have to wear dresses, slacks, makeup, etc, etc. At first I thought this was a complete downer but now I'm getting excited for fall fashion and shoes - except there's one problem.

It's not fun to shop unless you're skinny.

It's really true. When I was a size 10, I loved to go shopping and buy high heels (There's this secret that no one tells you when you're skinny it's easier to walk in high heeled shoes. It's like an automatic talent you receive for being thin) and clothes and jackets and bathing suits, etc etc.

But now that I'm a size 16 it's not that fun anymore. Every time I look in the dressing room mirror is a little bit more depressing. It makes me want to get back to a size 10 (actually size 8 would be my actual ideal) and all I end up buying is black dresses. My boobs are too big to fit into anything, my arms look weird, and I'm constantly having to buy things to cover up my core. I avoid clothes, and invest my money in jewelry, shoes, purses, etc.

But I think things might be about to change - at my job there's an "Employee Wellness Program" where you are assigned a personal trainer and nutrition coach (both students completing their capstone project) and they work with you for 8 weeks to complete your fitness goals.

FOR FREE.

I'm really excited to get some (semi) professional advice and someone to teach me how to eat and work out properly.

I plan to document my 8 week program on this blog (I hope I get good trainers) and maybe at the end of the project I'll have some more high heels in my closet.

Ciao,

Mal xoxo

Friday Thoughts

2011-08-26T15:56:00.002-05:00

So my friends keep faithfully blogging and I keep faithfully reading but the truth is I have gotten too lazy to blog every single day. It's okay though, I've been doing other things.

It's so weird, the concept of growing up. I've been thinking about my life compared to the lives of other people that I know, and I'm realizing every single day who I want to be and who I don't want to be. I don't want to be someone stuck in the past- reliving their glory days through high school or college, I don't want to be someone that needs things to be handed to them. I don't want to be solely dependent on my parents for money and financial gain, I don't want to be someone that is stuck in their old ways, someone who won't expand their horizons when and opportunity is staring them smack in the face. I call those people losers.

But not becoming a loser means I have to grow up and face the things in front of me. Being an adult is hard. The other day my mom called me and promptly told me I needed to get my taxes sorted out, I needed to make an appointment with the dentist and the gyno and also needed to get my car fixed. How awful do all those things sound? Pretty bad but I have to take care of them because I'm an adult. I also have no money this month - paying crap off an bills are basically the worst things in the world.

Tonight Jess and I are having a sleepover, complete with Disney movies, makeup, nail polish, junk food, pajamas and wine. How great is that? I remember when I was little I always loved sleepovers because you got to stay up so late playing video games and watching movies and now that I'm old and can go to bed anytime I want it doesn't seem so special, but I think tonight will be really really fun. I need a little escape to my childhood.

Until next time,

Mal xoxo

Things of mildly significant importance.

2011-08-22T18:56:00.003-05:00

I haven't blogged in a week. I guess that means I'm going to BEDA purgatory. I've had a pretty busy week. I mean, I wasn't in Cabo or anything, but I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
I have about 2 liters of wine from my lake trip this weekend that need to be drank before it goes bad. I will be doing this while writing this blog entry.
I declared last week as "get organized" week. I cleaned and reorganized my kitchen, did all my laundry (including towels and sheets) made sure to stick to my couch to 5k plan and also finish all the work I needed to. I wanted everything to be nice and put away and done when I came back from my weekend trip.
I've literally spent 45 minutes trying to get my antennae to pick up channel 5 so I can watch the Bachelor Pad. Priorities, people. I think I can finally get a clean picture but now I can't move from my spot on the couch. All for Our Host Chris Harrison.
For the last week I've been penciling in my eyebrows. So far no one has noticed.
Last week has been really busy with work - school is starting and working at a University everyone is kicking back into gear. I like it when I'm busy, it makes everything go by a lot faster.
I just got back from a weekend lake trip with 12 other friends. I really enjoy agreeing to go on trips where I literally don't know anything really of what's going to happen. So I paid my $50, and off to Lake Ft. Gibson I went. I turned off my cell phone the entire time and it was so so good. I was just there in the moment, LIVING and not worrying about anything else than drinking beer and swimming in the lake. That's perfection. I came back Sunday evening and crashed- 8 hours on the water takes it out of you.
Today was the first day in 16 years I didn't go to school. So, there's that.
I just got a text from my co-worker telling me that we are going to start working out after work and to bring my exercise clothes. That's cool - I'm up for anything. I'm almost halfway through my couch to 5k program and I could use some strength training.
I have also been really addicted to coffee - I've been trying to kick the Diet Coke habit even though I love it so much.
I have successfully gotten my Mom addicted to Glee and The Glee Project. We also went and saw the 3D movie. I wouldn't say I'm a Gleek -- but it's gone pretty far. She even sends me text messages about the cast members.

I guess that's it,

Mal xoxo

Doin shitttt

2011-08-15T22:30:00.001-05:00

Short entry tonight, we have our welcome back convocation tomorrow at work and I have to be there early. Two things:

http://www.rememberthemilk.com

and I never realized how effective eyeshadow primer was. MY MAKEUP IS STILL ON.

Night, y'all.

xoxo Mal

Sunday Thoughts

2011-08-14T13:30:00.004-05:00

So I didn't post yesterday. Whoops.

Spotify is my best friend. I seriously do not have to spend money at iTunes anymore AND I can listen to all the (Glee) music I want. Perf.

I'm declaring this week my "get organized" week before school starts. I'm going to clean/organize my apartment car and office. I know that technically I am not going back to school but work will be busy and I just like the idea of circling my life around the school year. I love back to school shopping and when fall sets in. I went to Ulta today and bought a few new makeup items (there was a special if you spent 17.50 you got a whole bag full of new makeup stuff) and it feels so good.

I'm about to head off to Mock Recruitment for my sorority (first time as an Alumni, holla) and then I'm coming back to my apartment to put away all my clean clothes, clean out my old makeup and throw away things I don't need (#ridding) I'm ready for the summer to be over and to get busy at work.

Today I was thinking about where I would love to work after a few years of social media/marketing experience at my job and I discovered the perfect job in which I would have the perfect qualifications: Someone that handles accounts at Disney World for Season Ticket holders. I would get to work at Disney World and get all the perks while making sure people that hold season tickets are happy and get them to renew. Is that even a thing?

Well Kaelyn is on her way so I'm going to wrap this up for now. Ciao!

Mal xoxo

Business Trip

2011-08-10T20:54:00.004-05:00

So I'm just settling back into my apartment after returning from a business trip in Kansas City. Doesn't that make me sound so old? Business trips are something my dad went on and seeing as how I was going to grow up to be a Princess, there's no way I would do something as boring as a business trip.

But I went and it was really great. I love talking about social networking trends and ideas, I basically got paid to talk to people about the internet. Can that be my job forever?

Game of Thrones basically rules my life, 139 pages in. about 700 more to go.

My new co-worker convinced my staff to get all new iPad 2's to handle and organize our businesses. I love her. How do I get so lucky? My old iPad will still be in use by someone else in the office, but I get a new one. I can't handle it.

Cinzetti's is the best place in the entire world. Can one be built in OKC? Ok, thanks.

I'm really lucky and blessed to have the job I do, the people are amazing and the work I do is interesting and fun. I'm really excited for the school year ahead.

Mal xoxo

Ps. Getting new windows in my apt tomorrow, also my landlord came in while I was gone today and cleaned my air filter for my air conditioning and it is now cool as a cucumber in here.

Pps. New twitter bio/pic/profile: http://twitter.com/malory

Music.

2011-08-09T10:15:00.002-05:00

It's day 9. This is going to be a long month.

Yesterday I got an email to download Ye and Hov's new album. Incredible as always. They go hard, which is different from MBDTF, which I feel is a lot more subtle and polished. I also purchased tickets to their concert in December down in Dallas. I can't believe I'm going to see them, I might actually peak this year.

I'm not sure if I'm alone in this, but I feel like I'm constantly listening to music. When I get up in the morning, I play music off my iPhone when I'm in the shower, then I hook my TV up with my computer to listen to music while getting ready. I get to work, turn on Spotify and listen to music all day long. I then go to the gym, listen to music while I'm working out, and then I get home and either watch TV or read, without music.

Does anyone else live like this?

Well I'm going to sign off, I'm off to a work trip so I'll hit you up on MANYAAANAAA

Mal xoxo

Long Monday is Long

2011-08-08T22:59:00.002-05:00

It's been a Monday. I've felt kinda weird all day long, hopefully tomorrow will be better. I'm heading out on a work trip, so there should be a change of pace. Maybe a longer entry tomorrow.

Mal xoxo

I like my life.

2011-08-07T18:11:00.002-05:00

Things that I like about my life right now:

I don't work on the weekends. This leaves me free to hang out with my friends, go to church, sleep in, go to shows and basically do whatever I want. I don't know how I did it when I worked at the restaurant.
I have enough money to support myself. There's never going to be enough dolla dolla bills in my life but at least I can pay my rent, bills, cell phone, and go out and buy my own drinks. This is a nice feeling.
I'm single. I know I complain about it on the daily but I don't want a relationship anytime soon. I like being able to do what I want, never have to answer to anyone and make my own social schedule. If there's something I don't want to do, I just don't do it.
I live alone. I just really like it.
I like my job and the people I work with. I spend more time with them then anyone else. Really. It's good I have a friend my age but also older role models that I can look up to. I also like the work I do because the majority of the time I get to be creative. I'm basically building a position with different events and social media strategies because there wasn't much there before. It's good for right now.
I'm not in school. Right now I'm thinking about all the people that are going to have to study in their spare time and prepare for tests and do projects WHILE working and having a social life, etc. I can't imagine giving up my free time right now. Even though eventually I'll have to get a master's degree.
I know who my friends are. And they know I am their friend.

Love you guys (@A & @B),

Mal xoxo

Last Friday Night...

2011-08-06T18:02:00.003-05:00

I have about 30 minutes to type out a blog entry before I go out tonight - last night and this morning were pretty eventful so I'll recap:

I was basically in a bad/tired mood all day yesterday and everyone was talking about going out, and I really really didn't want to. But I made myself have an attitude adjustment and I went 2-stepping with Jess, Mikey & co. It was a lot of fun and I wanted to dance the whole time.

(sidebar: Lately I have been encountering idiots. Losers never seem to know that they are losers, yet I think they count themselves high on the food chain. Whatever.)

That was fun and okay and all but my favorite part of last night was piling into Mikey's bed with Jess and all of Mikey's stuffed Pokemon toys, singing Disney songs, laughing at stupid videos on my phone and talking about the future. That's worth more than 1,000 nights at Cowboys...

Of course, since we are old asses we all woke up at 7:30 and ate some rice cakes (a new hope), played with puppets, laughed and talked some more and watched Supernatural. Basically it was a morning party which is one of my favorite things about life. Then Jess and I went home to change and get stuff to make homemade pizza. We came back to Mikeys and cooked pizza with Brandon and just hung out. I love those boys a lot. I know things will really be different when school starts so I'm trying to soak it all in while I can.

Now I'm getting ready to go see Anjela Johnson with some friends from the restaurant. I'm excited to see them and catch up. Until next time...

Mal xoxo

#grownupstuff

2011-08-05T09:47:00.002-05:00

I am currently sitting at my full time job, processing memberships and working on our social media campaign, wearing heels and drinking coffee. But also let me say I am listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack on full blast. I am a walking contradiction.

I forgot to blog yesterday. That's just what happened. I went to have drinks with a friend from class and the proceeded to gallivant all over Oklahoma City, singing karaoke, hanging out with old friends and forgetting to blog. I went back and forth in my head whether to mess with a timestamp, but there is no way I could even get into the mindset I was yesterday, so when I look back at August 3rd, 2011, I will have little in the way of memories. And that's okay because life happens sometimes.

Here's what I'm looking forward to this month/in life:

Anjela Johnson tomorrow at Rose State
Jodi Benson (I will meet her and take a picture with Ariel. My only dream)
Weekend lake trip before school starts (I just realized I won't be having a first day of school for the first time oh dear lord I feel very upset by this. Lately I have been in "Back to School" shopping mode but really I have nothing to buy for. I JUST WANT FLARE JEANS)
October will be the best month of my life. I love Halloween and I'm going to Orlando...

I know I'll probably go out tonight, but all I feel like doing is curling up with Game of Thrones.

Mal xoxo

QUESTIONS ON MY MIND

2011-08-03T18:21:00.003-05:00

Day 3 BEDA, day 3 no Diet Coke. Sup y'all.

How come no one likes their body? I mean, mine really sucks. But then the skinniest girls I know also think have stuff wrong with them. I mean, what's the deal?

Why is it so freaking hot outside? What did I do to deserve this torture? WHY?

Why do I care so much about William and Kate? (read: they are perfection)

Where is Casey Anthony?

(Leo is back on All My Children. Just thought you should know. My cat is named after him)

Why are your twenties so freaking hard to deal with? Let me tell you what's not fun. Visiting the IRS office. Paying bills. Not taking vacations whenever you want. Buying toilet paper. Saving money. Eating at home. Not drinking every night.

That's all. I'm sad today.

Mal xoxo

(C25k Week 1 Day 2)

It's Hot.

2011-08-02T21:53:00.002-05:00

Oh BEDA, you flighty mistress. I can already tell this is going to be a challenge. Today I: woke up, went to work, was productive, then after work I went swimming with some friends, came home, made dinner, and watched America's Got Talent (Love the magicians). Like an 80 year old.

Okay but for real this time I'm going to run a 5k. I made a schedule that corresponds with the iphone app that I downloaded to my phone and by the end of it, I have 2 5k's that I am planning on running in, the full time. I hope this works out.

Also, this is day 2 no Diet Coke and I am literally dying. As well as Day 2 eating healthy and all I want it a number 3, no pickle, sweet potato fries and a Diet Coke. Lord, why did you have to make aspartame so bad for us? This eating rabbit food thing is not going to work...

Lately I've been thinking about my friends and how they are all so different but they add to my life in so many ways. In some aspects I'm very territorial and I find as I'm getting older the people I have lost contact with/are too busy for me I feel huge resentment for them because I see how the people that are in my life now have kept in contact, even if it has been months between text messages. I guess that's part of being me, I'm too passionate, resentful and jealous sometimes. But I love the people in my life so much... I don't know how I would survive without them.

It's 10 'oclock, it's too hot in my house to do anything but lay in bed with 5 fans blowing on me, so I think that's what I'll do. Goodnight for now.

Mal xoxo

Here we go (again)...

2011-08-01T13:44:00.003-05:00

Today marks the first official day of BEDA. I realized a few days ago it was time to blog every day, but I have no way prepared myself like I did last time. It's kind of weird how much has changed since April, but expected in some ways too. Quick rundown:

Started my full time job May 1st. I am still struggling with my role and purpose in the office but I am quickly learning what need to be done/improved on. Still trying to maintain balance outside 8-5, it's very hard.
One thing that is also EXTREMELY difficult is getting paid once a month. With PG, I was bringing home 50-80 dollars cash every night, which I loved. And I also got paid at my other job twice a month. I get paid a lot more but it's harder to make it last.
Now that I have a full time job, I'm also struggling with my purpose in LIFE. I have always had something to work towards and now that I'm not in school, I don't know what I should be doing when I get off work.
I have gained so much weight this past year, physically and emotionally. I'm going to be getting rid of it in the next few months. Thanks and goodbye, I will be eating cottage cheese and tuna so don't ask me to go out to eat. I think my body image is the biggest struggle in my entire life and it's time to change that.
I'm still writing, but bigger projects are on the back-burner and I'm trying to focus on what I really love to write. I've been recording my most embarrassing moments here and it's just really FUN and helps me sort through those moments that have always made me cringe. About 3 people read them and I like it that way.
No one ever tells you that your friend count drops about 70% after you leave the collegiate world but in theory that's a good thing because you realize who really takes stock in your relationship. I'm so thankful for the different friends that I have and the time I spend with them is really special. I also like to think I'm kind of picky who I am friends with.
Loving Spotify, Google+ is growing on me, THRIVING without Facebook, it's like I'm a new person.

That's it for today, but Bryce and Abby I look forward to seeing you all this month...

Mal xoxo

(Couch to 5K Week 1, Day 1)

Sunday Night

2011-06-26T22:23:00.002-05:00

It's no secret that I'm entering a new season of my life. Are we ever satisfied? I've been thinking a lot right now about my long term goals, and about where I want to be and what I want to be doing. Where is the path for life taking me? Am I meant to be an artist? A leader? A teacher? A model? (HAH) I've been looking at my life and how I want to live it - for real - and I've discovered these things:

I no longer have my Facebook active. It served as a distraction (a welcome one most of the time) and fuel for the jealously that lives inside of me. So maybe I can get something done for once. (Sideabar: I thought about giving up Facebook for a year and writing a book about it, but then I realized everyone who remembers before 2004 would murder me in the street.)
I'm making a conscious effort to not be overloaded by social networking. I usually check my Twitter feed with one eye cracked open on my iphone before I even get out of bed. Now I try to go for a walk in the morning, and mentally prepare myself for the day.
I have watched this, this and read this for inspiration. (I wonder if you all know what I'm planning to do starting July 1)
I have almost accomplished running 30 miles in June. This is something I've been working on and now I'm almost an addict. My mind is cleared and I feel so much better than I did 3 months ago. Like a new person.
It's really hot where I live. Like extremely hot. And even though I love my little apartment my source of air conditioning is a window unit next to my bed. I camp out there with a fan on me to try not to die. It really sucks right now, I just wish it would get cooler. I also cleaned, and I'm having my landlord take one of the chairs out of my living room so I can put a writing desk in. That's one of the things I miss about my old place.

I just wanted to record my thoughts tonight... I'm not sure any of this even makes sense! I'm off to bed...

Mal xoxo

On Creativity - This Is The Year.

2011-06-20T15:30:00.010-05:00

I've always been a creative person.

I'm really not sure where it comes from, my father is a straight-laced Navy man, and the most art I have seen my mother create is cat photography. Not kidding.

So I'm not sure where the need for me to always be creating came from. When I was little I loved to draw and paint- but now that I'm older and have a severe patience deficiency, art has never been my calling. In middle school I realized I loved music, but could never sit down and learn how to play guitar like I wanted. (A dusty ukulele currently sits in my apartment bedroom) When I was in high school I loved the theater - and the opportunity to create a whole other person on stage. And when I came to college I discovered that I loved the written word even more than I thought.

I have always been a big reader. My mom reads even more than I do, and we always share recommendations of books to read. Although I still haven't forgiven her for not reading Harry Potter while simultaneously owning and re-reading the Twilight series, I more or less trust her judgement. When I came to college, I never expected to study English and writing, but that's how it happened. Basically my schoolwork was to read awesome things (or the CliffNotes of awesome things) and talk about what I thought it meant. And then I started to love poetry.

We all know where this is going - I love poetry, love to write it, read it, blah blah blah. But I've realized that without my professors (read: Doug) breathing down my neck to write, I haven't been. It's much easier to sit on the couch and watch Extreme Couponing for 4 hours. (True story) Of course, I keep up with this blog mostly, but this is all guarded writing, not anything like I was writing and publishing in my undergrad. The reason is because it's exhausting to actually process and translate your feelings into the written word. It's much easier to be numb.

One of the most frustrating things in the world is to look back at a year and realize you haven't written anything worth anything. I never really got why I liked writing so much - it's a very solitary act and for the most part I enjoy being social and with people. I work at a university and I absolutely love connecting with other staff on campus and the students that I still know. Most of the time I would rather go out and party with my friends than write a chapter of a novel or a poem. I never really got along with the people in my writing classes (other than the normal ones) because let's face it - writers are kinda weird.

So will I ever get there? Do I need to travel by train to Edinburgh and maybe the idea for the next great American (or British) novel will drop into my head? Or is it a practice of discipline? Should I free-write everyday? Am I capable of writing fiction or is it creative nonfiction for the rest of my life? Who knows. I love the idea of being a writer, but do I actually love to create the art? I saw this quote the other day and it stuck with me:

Maybe that's just what I need to do. Fight my way through. Finding my purpose in life is one of the hardest journeys I've ever had to take, but I feel it's probably worth it.

Mal xoxo

Perfection.

2011-06-13T22:37:00.004-05:00

Mal xoxo

Fireflies & Foxes

2011-06-13T21:42:00.005-05:00

Let me start by saying something. I am quite a superstitious person. I never walk under ladders, I always throw split salt over my right shoulder, I am a firm believer in Karma and I fit my horoscope to a T.

I am a Scorpio. Jealous, obsessive, indulgent, vengeful, passionate. Yes, that's me. If I had to pick one vice or one sin to admit to, it would envy. Yes, that's right. I am a jealous person, and I'm letting God and the internet know it.

So today I was feeling a lot of things - resentful, angry, and most of all jealous. All day I was freaking out about the tiniest things - a text message, a facebook post and worst of all, I was obsessing about my life and the way I am living it.

And all day long I was looking forward to my run after work. Sometimes when I have so much aggression and energy I can just run (or walk) for hours and tire myself out. Being that it was LITERALLY 100 degrees outside I had to wait until the sun was setting to go out because I wanted to check out the running trail I found this weekend that's about a block from my house. While I was running (and improving my mile time, thank you very much) I was listening to some new music that I downloaded earlier that evening. On my way back I noticed something amazing.

The woods next to my new apartment is home to thousands of lightning bugs. They flew slowly in and out of trees, their lights becoming brighter as the sun sank low. As I was walking through these lightning bugs there was a moment where I let all of my jealousy go and realized that I was the only one in the world experiencing that moment in time, and that moment was a gift from God, from the Universe, from Karma and from Nature.

I also noticed something else- two foxes were standing in the road ahead of me. As I came closer to them, they both darted into the forest, and I couldn't even snap a picture. But as I approached the fireflies, they let me hold them as they lit up in my hands. That's when I realized I need to gravitate towards light to be truly happy, nothing more, nothing less.

It's hard for me (as a Liberal Arts Graduate) not to mention Thoreau in a moment like this, because, well, he knew that this was true before any of us did. That a walk in the woods can clear the mind, the soul, and bring you closer to God.

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

- Walden, Henry David Thoreau

Mal xoxo

PS. I bet I could have also discovered this by drinking a large chocolate milkshake, but I took the long way around. Wearing my black stretchy pants.

Not Fair.

2011-06-12T20:43:00.005-05:00

There's a lot of things in life that aren't fair.

Like the fact I can't eat pancakes and drink vanilla milkshakes all day without gaining 100 pounds.

Or that I will NEVER be a Prima Ballerina.

Or maybe that I get paid a starting teachers salary to work all day, and Anne Hathaway gets paid millions of dollars to WORK OUT all day and then gets to wear incredibly beautiful dresses and jewelry FOR FREE.

Or the fact that a golden retriever wouldn't fit comfortably in my one bedroom apartment.

Maybe that I can't wear black stretchy yoga pants on a daily basis.

But there's one doozy- one thing that I have learned that is totally not fair - and that's growing up.

It's no surprise to anyone that knows me that my transition from collegiate to post-graduate was not a smooth one.

During the fall of 2010 you could find me doing any one of these things:

1. Drinking heavily on any particular night of the week.
2. Crying in my bed, crying on my way home from work, crying at work, crying while I was drinking.
3. Constantly ruining parties by whining "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE" after I had taken 5 shots of vodka.
4. Desperately applying for the most random jobs in the entire universe all day every day.

The anticipation of graduating from college and becoming financially independent (which my parents had been telling me I was getting cut off after graduation for YEARS) was wayyy to much stress on me.

I was working two jobs and finishing my last semester (which I decided to take Spanish II online and that's stressful enough in itself) and trying to figure out WHAT I wanted to do.

I thought about grad school, I thought about traveling, I even had a job offered to me at a publishing company, which I turned down.

But after I graduated college, the world didn't collapse around me. I was working harder than ever because I knew I had to (about 60 hours a week), or I would run out of money and I couldn't do any more things. I would have to live on the street as many liberal arts graduates do and I would never become a writer/dancer/food blogger like I had always wanted.

I did do some fun things after I graduated - and now looking back they were all slightly crazy. I bought a ticket to Orlando, FL about 3 days before I left, I threw parties with 250+ jello shots in the fridge, I took 2 trips in March, one to TX and one to Destin, FL which those were probably not the best way to spend my graduation money, I was slightly insane when it came to my relationships and I seriously considered a wrist tattoo.

And now that part of my life is past me, I have a great full-time job with benefits, a cozy apartment where I can watch my Friends DVDs in peace, and good friends with which I can spend my time.

Here comes the part that isn't fair - a lot of my friends have also recently graduated, and they don't seem to be feeling the same way I do because they aren't financially independent from the parents.

They graduated college and get to go to camp, theme parks, on vacation to various overseas destinations they to spend their Wednesdays going to trendy cardio classes and eating vegan food, and going to the pool. Or they just read all day living in their parents houses and drink Lunchboxes from Edna's on the weekends.

NOW HOW IS THAT FAIR?!

I FELT like I worked so hard after I graduated, I was in a job that I wasn't sure was even going to promote me (thank God they did, I am so grateful) I was waiting tables almost every night and every weekend working doubles, stressing out about finances and my parents were wondering why they paid for an English degree when I couldn't even get a full time job.

That was probably the hardest part- watching my mom and dad push me out the door when I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do.

In a way I'm completely resentful - how come I was forced to grow up so much faster than all of my other friends? I wanted to have adventures at 4 am on Thursdays too! I wanted to go on summer vacation and not have to worry about a job or the money that I wasn't making.

And that's what it all comes down to - money. Money is something that I really wish I never had to worry about. I am so envious of the people that are blessed with financial freedom and never have to worry about it like I do.

I guess I should be thankful - they will all eventually have to go through this phase. It just sucks that I was one of the first ones. And I love all of my friends dearly, but I'm just insanely jealous of their lives.

It's just not fair. I'm off to make some blueberry muffins. (I still wear my black stretchy pants all weekend long!)

Mal xoxo

5 Things I'm Loving Right Now

2011-06-09T21:40:00.008-05:00

1. Pinterest

This design website is awesome. It's just a place to post random things that make you happy, recipes, products, design inspiration, etc. I love browsing it whenever I need some time to just be mindless. It's addicting! I'm not sure if you still need an invite to it, but if you do then I have some! Just comment below.

2. Runkeeper

I downloaded this free app to try to track my 5k training. I like it a lot better than any other app that I've tried and it works through GPS so if I ever get abducted on a run my mom can log on and find where the raper took me. I've been using it the past few weeks and have already shaved a few minutes off of my mile run time.

3. Pool time

So I've been spending the last three days that this pool. Just kidding, I'm laying out at my friend's apartment pools. I WISH I was at this pool because it's one of my favorite things about summer. Although I am a complete freak about sunscreen (because I'm so fair skinned) I love the feeling of being outside in the sun.

4. Half-day Fridays

At my job during the summer we get off at noon on Fridays. It's pretty much the best thing ever.

5. Coffee Pancakes

Coffee pancakes are the new everything. Just add instant coffee to your favorite pancake mix (I use the kind you just at water to because I am seriously the laziest cook ever in the entire world) It's kind of the best thing ever.

Mal xoxo

Garage Sale Guide - Edmond, OK

2011-06-06T22:19:00.000-05:00

So I've successfully completed DBEDM. That's Don't Blog Every Day in May. This month has been crazy - I moved into my new apartment, made lots of cockroach friends, learned how to make chocolate chip muffins (add water to the mix, bake) visited the Farmer's market, found a Yoga class on Thursdays I really love, spent aprox my whole paycheck at Target on orange-scented cleaning supplies, been the pool a few times, auditioned to be an extra in a movie, fallen victim to a 24 hour stomach virus (or food poisoning from Taco Bell), skipped a week of running, drank lots of lemonade, visited a new bar I love that only plays music from the 70's and 80's, lost my debit card at said bar, watched about 30 hours of the Casey Anthony trial, on the quest for the best burger in Oklahoma, watched season 1-7 of Friends while waiting for Basic Cable to be installed in my new house, hid in the basement of my University while waiting for a tornado to pass, and a lot of other things that I've forgotten.

Oh, I also go to bed at 10:30 now.

I've decided I need more of these things in my life- black stretchy pants, puppies, and garage sales.

Since moving out of the sorority house and starting to nest in my new apartment, I care a little bit more about the things that I have and how I decorate my house. It's the life after college thing, I'm telling you guys it's weird.

I've been a garage-saler all of my life. When I was little my mom and I would go on Saturday mornings and I would always want to buy a board game with my money even though there was no way in the world all the pieces would be there, and my parents would have to buy me the game brand new anyway.

It wasn't until last weekend when I went with a friend that I realized I knew a little bit about the "science" of garage sales.

I didn't start going to garage sales in Edmond until about a year ago. I was moving out of the sorority house and into a "real" house for the first time, and I needed "stuff".

This was about a year after my parent's house burned down and all I had was the stuff that I brought to college with me, which included 15 boyfriend pocket t's from target and a mirror I bought from a thrift store in high school.

Here are some of my best garage sale finds:

This is my most recent find - the price was at 20 but I haggled down to 15 even though I probably would have paid 20. The lady I bought it from said she's had it forever! And she was old...

This TV stand is probably the most I've ever paid for something at a garage sale, but it's actually really nice quality. It was 40 dollars and the lady "said" she paid 250 for it. Not sure I believe it but it's a really nice piece of furniture.

That party light has gotten a lot of good use. Every time my roommates and I would start drinking, we'd turn on the light. 25 cents.

I got these two vintage cameras for 5 dollars each. I'm not sure if they work or not but I looooove the way that they look!

I think I bought this silver tray for 2 dollars last year. I use it to hold all of my perfumes!

I bought this nightstand last year for 5 dollars, painted it and replaced the handles. It's the perfect size to hold the books I haven't read. I also got that lamp at a garage sale for 3 dollars and I replaced the shade with one that I got at a discount furniture store.

So basically everything that I own is from a garage sale. Since I've been going practically my whole life, there are some tips and tricks that I've picked up, especially in the past year or so.

The earlier the better. Now, I'm not hardcore because I've never gone out on a Friday morning because my work schedule would never allow it. But I do wake up around 7 and head out around 8. It gets so hot so quickly and you're probably done by 10:30, all the good stuff is gone.

The older the homeowner, the better. That means that you're not going to be looking at baby clothes and nokia brick cell phones. Generally if it's a young family there's not going to be that great of stuff. You want an old couple, probably a set of grandparents or older that have really cool old stuff. That's where I've found most of the vintage stuff that I've bought, old records, silver, those vintage cameras. Even if you don't buy anything from the older people, it's really neat to see all the crap they've collected over the years.
Don't be afraid to haggle. If the people aren't crazy (which some of them think they're going to make a serious profit from selling baby clothes OUT OF THEIR GARAGES) then what they're essentially doing is trying to get rid of the crap. There will usually be a price on whatever you're wanting, and I try to go as low as possible whenever I haggle. That way if they go lower than the original asking price, but not my price, I know I have a deal. If they won't budge just walk away. Usually they will give you what you want because they're just trying to get rid of the crap.

Estate Sales - those are different. Usually they are held because someone died, so it's kinda weird looking through their house, their clothes and all of their stuff knowing that that person is dead. It's a little bit more tense than when you go to a garage sale and talk to the person about all the Fear Street books they have for sale. I don't go to a lot of estate sales because they generally price everything pretty high. I've never had good luck with them.

Don't feel bad if you don't buy anything. I usually talk to the people when I come up and that's where I get the best tips. I was talking to a young couple telling them I needed furniture and they pointed me to the neighborhood where I bought that TV stand. I always ask how they're doing and then thank them when I leave.

Drive-By's are generally telling if there's good stuff or not, but you never know what's going to be there when you park your car and get out. If the garage looks bare, I just go on to the next one.

Rich neighborhoods are sometimes great - but mostly the stuff doesn't have as much character as an older neighborhood.

May is the best month for garage sales, by July neighborhoods have generally already had their "Garage Sale Weekend"

Those are my garage sale tips for now - I think next weekend I'm venturing out to Oklahoma City and Moore- I'll be sure to post my finds!

I'm off to finish watching The Office and then I'm crawling into bed! Maybe I'll blog more this month....

Mal xoxo

April's over?

2011-05-02T16:01:00.000-05:00

Hello my lovely little blogger friends,

I opened my Google Reader yesterday like 5 times and no one had posted a blog. That's when I realized that Blog Every Day in April was really over and I DIDN'T have to write anything.

Um, okay.

Then I realized I wanted to write something about what happened last weekend so I could record it and share it with Bryce and all the people that come from Lisa's website. Sup, Ya'll.

This weekend was really busy. I planned on moving most of my stuff but as it happens - life got in the way. I ended up going to the Norman Music Festival with my roommate Britney, and we had a great time. There were so many interesting people there and it was a free show when it came to people-watching. I counted at least 10 Oklahoma Flag Symbol shirts, if that tells you anything. I doubt it will. The music was awesome too.

It was a late night and early morning because a the last minute my friend Jessica needed someone to run the Oklahoma Memorial 5k with her. When I say run I actually mean runwalk. We left my house at 6:00 AM and headed downtown in the POURING rain. The thing that I love about Jessica and about our friendship is that we have the ability to make the best of almost anything and can turn anything into an adventure. We're both willing to try new things and that's what makes our friendship so different than I've ever experienced.

Back to the race -- it was one of the most miserable days of the year. It was freezing cold, the wind was blowing, and it was raining - hard. But the thing about it was everyone showed up. There were over 25,000 people running the marathon, the half, and the 5k and there was even more people cheering everyone on that was running. That's something that's really humbling and wonderful about Oklahomans, I felt like complaining about walking 3 miles, when the person to the left of me was giving out gatorade and pretzels for the next 3 hours. It was a great experience. I always say I want to do the half marathon next year - and I think I really want to this time. Here's a pic:

That's Jess and I in the car after the race - soaking wet! I'm excited to run some more races with her (actually run) and hike and stuff this summer! Yay!

The rest of Sunday was spent with Shelby which is always an adventure, and I managed not to get ANYTHING accomplished. It's easy when you've had such a busy week.

Coming this month: New apt tour, thoughts on poetry pt. II, hopefully the apartment pools open up around here, and more bloggy blog blogs!

Mal xoxo

End of BEDA...

2011-04-30T15:26:00.000-05:00

I originally planned on getting a lot of stuff packed and moved today, but it was all interrupted by a mid-morning nap and Burlesque watching, also followed by a pizza party with my roommates. I'm okay with that because we all don't have much time left together and it was nice to just chill for a little bit these last few days I'm living here.

Wow, a lot can change in a month, right?

In some ways, this was the perfect month to do BEDA, there were so many changes happening in my life. But in other ways, I wonder if it's just that I kept track of the changes that I noticed them all. All my life, these changes have been so well defined, and I guess it's just weird to go through them by myself. High School Graduation, leaving Drama, coming to college, rushing a sorority, graduating college, I did all those things with all my friends by my side experiencing the same thing, and now that everyone I know isn't moving out on their own or starting a full time job I think it's left me in the dark.

One thing I regret about writing this month is that there was some stuff going on with me that I never even mentioned on this blog. It had to do with things happening in my life that I'm not really willing to share with the entire internet (or my 3 readers) but I regret that I didn't record it. Which is why I'm going to keep journaling (offline) for the rest of this summer and this year. I want to look back and know how I felt in those moments and how I felt after they were over.

This post is kind of all over the place, but I think that's how I've been the past month. There's been so much going on, and I'm glad I got to record it all. I'm off to the Norman Music Festival and tomorrow I'm running the OKC Memorial 5k...busy weekend! Love

Mal xoxo

It's the last few days.

2011-04-30T00:23:00.001-05:00

And I'm losing momentum. This is Friday's post, and I'm planning on a long one tomorrow, but for right now I'm completely exhausted. I've been moving, there's been late night Thunder games, I've been enjoying my last week of only working 5 hours, I woke up at 5 AM to watch the Royal Wedding, and there's just been a lot of stuff going on. I'm typing this out pretty quick so I can go to bed, but I'm planning an epic post tomorrow for my last one. Love you all.

Mal xoxo

Yes....

2011-04-28T22:38:00.000-05:00

Yes, three days before BEDA is over I forgot to blog.

Yes, instead of blogging I was was watching the Thunder sweep the Denver Nuggets with all of my friends.

Yes, I am watching as much Royal Wedding coverage as possible.

Yes, I feel dead to the world after getting 3 hours of sleep last night.

Yes, I took a 2 hour nap at 6:30 today.

Yes, I am getting up around 6:00 AM to watch Princess Kate and Prince William.

Yes, I started moving my things slowly into my new apartment.

Yes, I am slightly crazy.

Mal xoxo

I forgot to blog.

2011-04-28T03:04:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I'm like...

2011-04-26T22:43:00.000-05:00

... It's only Tuesday?

These are my confessions:

I'm packing my room to move this week and even though I get my key tomorrow I'm taking as slow a time as possible. This means times are probably really changing, right?
I have this idea in my mind that when I move I'm going to walk/ride my bike everywhere. I really truly hope this happens. When I lived on campus before I only walked places when my car was in the shop, but then again I lived all the way on the other side of campus. Let's see if this happens.
I saw the movie Prom tonight. No, I'm not ashamed. Also, I loved Prom in high school, particularly my junior year. Sometimes I can't remember how it felt to be that unstoppable.
I tried to run Week 4 of my Couch to 5k and failed miserably. I then came home and ate my weight in cereal.
A few years ago, whenever the application "Honesty Box" was popular on Facebook, if someone left their computer in the dining room of the sorority house, or left their account signed in on my computer, I would look at the messages that they "anonymously" sent. Does this make me a bad person?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money on iTunes. Chris Brown, Prom Soundtrack (DON'T JUDGE) and the new Augustana which I'm halfway obsessed with already.
I have absolutely no professional clothes. Which I'm required to wear to work. This might be a problem until I get my next paycheck. I might have to improvise.
I'm wondering who even reads this.

Mal xoxo

PS. My Prom picture:

Home Stretch...

2011-04-25T16:10:00.001-05:00

So I'm sitting in my room, packing and doing laundry, listening to Pandora and it just dawned on me how fast this month really went by. I thought BEDA was going to be a lot harder than it actually was, but it was actually easy to find the time during the day to sit down and write a little. Also, it was easy to start my Couch to 5k program, which is going swimmingly.

I'm starting to pack up my room (things that I don't need) and it always boggles me whenever I move how much STUFF I have. I need to simplify, and I think now is the perfect time for it. I'm loading up a few boxes and bags of clothing/shoes/junk to take to Goodwill and hopefully I can not accumulate things as much as I have in the past. I think it would be neat to do one of those things where you don't buy anything for a year, but I'm not sure I could accomplish it. It would be really hard.

I also think I'm getting to the point where my body is rejecting change. Is that a thing?

Mal xoxo

Sunday Night Slow Jams

2011-04-24T22:32:00.000-05:00

Currently Watching: Love & Other Drugs

Hours of Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files watched: 4 1/2

Currently Wearing: Target boyfriend T, grey sweats of unknown origin and no socks

Easter Dinner: Spaghetti with alfredo and chicken

Currently Eating: Cheez-It's

Currently Thinking: about this weekend and how I'm moving next week and STILL HAVEN'T PACKED DEAR LORD

Oz of Chocolate Milk Drank: Uncountable

Miles Ran This Weekend: 5

Currently Hanging Out With: Shelby

Last Song Sang In The Car: The Mixed Tape -- Jack's Mannequin

Currently Feeling: Like I shouldn't really be watching this movie

Mal xoxo

Saturdays in Midwest City

2011-04-23T21:35:00.000-05:00

Last night we all went out for my roommate's birthday. It was an interesting night to say the least. All I have to say is I have nothing to say.

I came home this weekend because I haven't been home for a super long time. Good things about my house:

My parents always cook me great food.
My mom DVR's all my favorite Thursday night comedies and I don't have to watch them on Hulu
I get to hang out with Pepper, our new dog.
It's soooo quiet here my sleep is amazing
Our house is brand new so it's like a spa getaway.

We're going to eat out tomorrow morning for Breakfast and just chill. That's what I like about coming home -- even though I don't get to do it very often it's so nice when I do. I took our new dog down to the park and did my latest Couch to 5K workout and it was the perfect tempature and the course was so easy. After last night I think I needed something low-key.

Now I'm going to watch some Parking Wars. Until tomorrow!

Mal xoxo

2011-04-22T21:28:00.001-05:00

1. Sunburnt 2. Storms 3. The Wedge 4. I love Fridays.

A Day In The Life -- Plog

2011-04-21T21:21:00.001-05:00

Mal xoxo

Waitress no more...

2011-04-20T22:16:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is my last day as a waitress. The last time I will have to pretend to make decaf coffee, last time I will have to laugh at customer's lame jokes, last time I will have to bissel my section, last time I will have to run around like a chicken with my head cut off while I'm hungover, last time I will wear that nasty uniform and last time I will go home with $15 dollars while I worked my ass off.

But it will also be the last time I've laughed with the other servers about a particular regular, last time we will grab a mess-up off the line and eat it in the back, last time I will hang out with my friends WHILE I'm at work, last time I will eat bread with basil aoli and soup cause those are the only things that are free, last time I will get an unexpected big tip, and last time I will seriously confide in my co-workers about my life, my relationships, my boy problems and what the heck I want to do with my life.

I started waiting tables about a year ago, right after I got out of the sorority. I remember thinking the restaurant industry was so intimidating, but I think that's what drew me to it. I remember making my first friend - Amy - and we shared cheesecake every Sunday night after we had worked a double. I remember getting so stressed out over the smallest things, and then learning to let that go. Other than my job now (that I'm going full time in) this is the longest I've stayed in a job and I really am glad that I did. I grew so much in this past year and so much has happened and my co-workers at the PG were there for it all.

If you can't already tell, this is a very bittersweet time. There are a lot of things I am leaving behind but I'm doing that to gain so much more. I am going to miss the night shifts more than anything but I know what I'm doing is right. It seems like I'm a pendulum though - one minute I'm completely done but the next I'm so sad to leave this part of my life. There's really no chance of going back - it's going to happen eventually but no one really prepares you for it. I guess that's just how life goes!

Mal xoxo

Two Prompts:

2011-04-19T22:50:00.000-05:00

1. Baked potatoes, dry ramen eaten as chips, Mazzio's Ranch, green apples, Sonic Sprite + vanilla, blue coconut, and watermelon, Jim's Chicken, Arizona Iced Tea, pizza, Rice Bowl, McDonald's Cheeseburgers with Mac sauce, Campbell's Soup-in-a-Cup, Chequers, Red Diamond sweet tea, Cheesy Gordita Crunches (when they were still a secret menu item), Jordan Ditto's Beef Stroganoff, Dude's Hamburgers, fresh baked cookies for breakfast, the Dirty Kitty, Little Caesar's cheesy bread.

2. Gingers.

Mal xoxo

I ♥ OK

2011-04-18T13:28:00.000-05:00

Since we all love lists so much, I will now compile a list of reasons that I love Oklahoma:

The pride we carry for the things we are known for - Sonic, College Football, our crazy weather, Eishen's chicken, the musical "Oklahoma!" and I think we might actually claim Dr. Pepper.
OKC Thunder - for years and years Oklahomans have been split when it comes to football, and now that we have something that can all unite us, it's all that much better. The playoff game was incredible, I have never been in a stadium that loud. Rise Together.
Our weird artsy neighborhoods - They are small and aren't very well-known, but they are there. I've been to plenty of spoken word nights, and art walks and cool festivals. The people that say there's nothing to do here obviously don't know where to look
Metropolitan Library System - and the friends of the library book sale. I literally die every February.
The University of Central Oklahoma - what can I say? This place is really home - and it's not because of the buildings or the classes or the clubs or whatever. It's because there's seriously good people here. With good intentions.
Everything is cheaper here - enough said.
BoBo's Chicken - and things like that. The swings at OU. Climbing on top of Evan's Hall. Spotlighting in Hafer Park. Edmond in the summertime. Hudson's karaoke night. The adventures that I have that I wouldn't have if I didn't live here.
Traffic - There literally is none.
The Sunset - There's really nothing like an Oklahoma sunset. It restores your faith in nature.
The people.

Mal xoxo

Sunday Thoughts

2011-04-17T15:38:00.000-05:00

Currently sitting in bed, listening to Kanye West, about to start getting ready for the first Thunder Playoff Game. Jealous? I thought so. Last night I spent some time with good friends - swinging, laughing, driving, eating. It was great.

There's a lot of things on my mind - the fact I am moving in like a week and haven't started packing AT ALL and I feel like I have SO MUCH STUFF, the way my life is about to change - and already really is, how excited I am for this summer, how much possibility really is before me and the soft pretzel and beer I am about to consume at the basketball game.

But right now I'm going to dry my hair and start getting ready - Westbrook is waiting for me!

Mal xoxo

Things I Love & Hate

2011-04-16T16:42:00.000-05:00

Hate: snow storms for long periods of time, when you can't find your car in the parking lot, getting double sat while waiting tables, the sinking feeling you get when your phone/keys/debit card are not in your purse whenever you look for it, the smell of a hotel room after you've partied in it, seeing an old person either driving down the street in their motorized wheelchair or seeing an old person buy cat food, going to the hardware store, Kobe Bryant, whenever I realize I haven't written anything worthwhile in a year, disappointing my friends, dirty snow, people that expect recognition for the things that they do, stress pimples, when you know someone feels superior to you, Wal-Mart, Broadway Extension, UCO the first week of school, worrying about money, long division, and ferrets.

Love: avocados, Disney World, summertime, Hip-Hop music, the smell of airport coffee, hospital food, Friends (the show and the people), Twitter, whenever I get a good parking spot, running at night, singing in the car, OKC Thunder, old movies like Gone With The Wind, NPR, going into Bath & Body works and spraying shit on me, pool time, books, traveling, pinterest.com, lemonade with mint, the fact I don't have to dye my hair, Tina Fey, being in the sorority house the morning after a huge party and exchanging stories while laughing, riding my bike, pranking, Halloween, The Little Mermaid, golden retrievers, sushi, getting into bed when I'm really tired, the feeling of a new book in my hand, school supplies, poetry, my Honda, whenever you "click" with someone, breakfast food, Spring Sing preparations, naps, soft pretzels at sporting events, tap-dancing, and whenever I get to say I have so much fun when I'm with my friends.

Mal xoxo

2011-04-15T23:22:00.000-05:00

Busy living life.

Mal xoxo

That is all...

2011-04-14T23:21:00.001-05:00

Mal xoxo

Now Playing - "Everybody's Changing" by Keane

2011-04-13T21:55:00.000-05:00

It seems like I've been writing blog entries forever when in fact I've only written 13. I feel like time goes by so slowly in the hours of the day but in actuality I can't believe it's been a year since my senior year of college. I can't believe I'm getting ready to move out of a house I have lived in a year. I feel like I FLEW through college, and time goes by faster every single year. Whoa. I can't believe how much I've changed.

To gain a little perspective, I looked at my Xanga Post on this day from SIX YEARS AGO: You all are seriously in for a treat.

Tuesday, April 13, 2005

It's kinda hard cause things ain't what they seem
but it sure feels good to row gently down the stream
and it all makes sense, life is but a dream
so go merrily, go merrily, yeah

I'd like to go merrily. I feel like giving up right about now. Bryce, I'm not sure if things WILL get better. I got grounded today for absolutley no reason. I have no gas. Parents are psyco. Christy and Cara are gone. Brit just called me from the Jason Mraz concert.

I don't feel pretty. I heard today that someone thinks I have a really big stomach. It's enough that I think that about myself, but to hear it confirmed, oh man that hurts. I try to make fun of myself but that routine is getting pretty tiresome pretty fast. I want to dress up and look pretty tommorow, but I don't think that it will even matter. Will it? I thought I WAS pretty!! But obviously I have "really skinny arms and legs but just this huge stomach" Why is this bothering me so much?! I'm getting tired of having to make fun of myself.

I think that's what I have to do in life, you know? But for once I want people to think that I AM pretty and I want people to want to be with me and be around me.

Why am I being like this? Why am I whining? Jesus Christ! I think I should be able to whine just a little bit. Just until this passes.

I need mashed potatoes.
"...as long as their nail polish is drying, women are practically defenseless."

Oh Malory, if you only knew how skinny you really were.

I guess when they talk about teen angst, they were really right. I sound pretty emotional, insecure, and lacking in self-confidence. I'm whining about the small things - being grounded and not being able to afford gas - and now sometimes I think I would give anything to not have to worry about paying taxes or rent or eating cup-of-soup after cup-of-soup because it's really the only thing I can afford.

One thing about getting older is that I have this inherent urge to figure myself out. When I was 16, I just was who I was, and sure, I thought I was fat but the majority of the time I didn't care. Now I have to wrestle with spirituality, love, relationships, my personality, and who I want to be and what I want to do.

Something that I love about that post though, (excluding the LOL factor, because seriously? Who wasn't laughing when they read that?) is how honest I was. Standing there in front of God and everyone, I let the world know EXACTLY how I was feeling on Xanga. Sometimes that honesty eludes me - and sometimes I wish I could have it back.

But I guess it's all part of growing up.

Mal xoxo

What I Ate Today

2011-04-12T19:06:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I'm being serious.

This morning I made coffee when I got to work, and had some with a little bit of Peppermint creamer (You can enjoy the taste all year round) and a whole-wheat english muffin with some strawberry yogurt. For lunch I had a green apple with peanut butter and Nutella, along with some chicken noodle soup and cheddar cheese cracker crisps and a Diet Coke. I got off work and paid my taxes, and went for a semi-long bike ride at Mitch Park, and then I met a friend for frozen yogurt (which I think I'm becoming addicted to since giving up liquor), which was mango sorbet, white chocolate chips, nuts, and a little bit of cupcake topping, and a little bit of marshmallow topping. Then I came home and laid in bed for awhile (I'm going to miss those days come May 1) and now I'm enjoying an avocado & cheese sandwich and tomato soup.

I just realized almost all of my meal choices today were vegetarian. Very interesting. I'm also going to have chocolate milk.

Tonight I'm going to take a Zumba class from one of my friends downtown at a new dance studio - I'm super excited!

Tomorrow it's back to the grind... only 11 days until I can start moving! Maybe I'll pack some/throw away some stuff tonight.

Mal xoxo

Remember that good things come in threes....

2011-04-11T12:37:00.000-05:00

I'm writing this post on the beautiful Monday to express excitement about 3 very important things happening in my life currently.

I've spent about a year freaking out about what happens after graduation. I am the first of my group of close friends to graduate college. Yes, I have older friends but I don't see them often, or talk to them often so I felt like I was truly the pioneer in this case. Graduating college is an experience unlike any other. Now that a few of my close friends are graduating they ask me for advice - or ask me just for an open ear and all I can say to them is it can't be explained.

The good things that are happening right now, I feel have been a long time coming. I've spent the last 8 or so months trying to deal with this transition, in the form of chocolate, vodka, and riding in cars with boys. And now that it's finally here, I feel like I'm maybe coming out of a dark tunnel into the sunlight. It feels great.

I'm starting my first full time job May 1st. With a salary, benefits, vacation, and tuition reimbursement. I've been in the office about 4 years (majority of college) and there was a job opening so I was promoted. I'm very lucky and blessed to have this opportunity to work on campus and have a smooth transition into "adulthood"? I guess? I don't feel like I'm an adult, but I guess this is the first step. And I'm done waiting tables. And I have my own office. It's cute.
I'm moving out on my own. This is a big one. For the last 5 years I've had a roommate(s) and now I'm moving into my own little house/garage apt at the end of April. I am going to be sad to leave my girls, but I feel like this is the right step for me right now. I am going to be able to walk to work (which is a huge plus considering right now I live about 20 minutes with Edmond traffic away from UCO and 25 mins away from Pep Grill so gas is seriously killing me) and be able to bike around Edmond - to my Yoga studio and the Farmers Market. I really love the neighborhood I'm moving into - a lot of old houses and history (I might be living on an indian burial ground) which is what I really love. My parents are also really excited and super proud. It was just happenstance that I found this great place - and further affirmation that sometimes things just fall into your lap. I'm really lucky.
I'm joining a church. A Unitarian Church in OKC that I have been going to on and off for a few years now. My relationship with the world/universe/God is definitely a work in progress and being spiritual is something totally new to me. I really like going on Sunday mornings. It's a very traditional service with very liberal views, which is perfect for me. I'm taking classes this month to learn more about it with the opportunity to join at the end of those classes. We'll see how it goes. I'm really excited about it.

So that's what's going on the month - it's a lot but I'm really ready for it.

Mal xoxo

Alright....

2011-04-10T22:31:00.000-05:00

I've hit a roadblock.

I'm getting shin splints 2 weeks into my couch to 5k training program.

I'm suffering from inspiration block.

I've eaten about 2 pounds of fresh fruit.

I installed a basket for my bike, upside down.

It's day 10 and I really have nothing to say.

At least I've written more than Bryce.

Mal xoxo

Garage Sale Treasures!

2011-04-09T15:47:00.000-05:00

This morning I got up extra early for the start of Garage Sale season - one of my favorites time of the year. When I was little I used to go with my mom to Garage Sales in California, one of my favorite memories.

I also like being in up and around in Edmond in the early hours of the morning - little to no traffic, different people, it seems like a different town. I like getting up early, it makes me feel like I have stolen hours that no one else knows about.

I didn't find much this go round, a vintage mirror and old globe, but I'm really pumped about 2 vintage cameras that I found. I don't think I'll use them for anything but decorating, but they remind me of old cameras we used to have in our house

After that I came home for what I thought would be a quick nap - but I ended up sleeping longer than I planned. I then cleaned my room, started laundry, picked out some books I'm taking to 1/2 Books tomorrow, talked to my big bro, and watched a few episodes of Parks & Recreation. I never really realized how much weekends kept me sane until I was working them ALL THE TIME. I really appreciate this time to get things done. It's only going to get better from here one out.

Mal xoxo

Last Friday Night

2011-04-08T22:57:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how much things can change in a year.

Tonight I went to UCO's Finale of Greek Week, Spring Sing, for the first time as an alum. For the past three years I've been the director, a participant, an organizer and it was super-weird to finally realize that it was completely over.

When I was in the sorority it was truly my thing - something that I looked forward to every year and something that I was good at and something that I got better at and grew into. I've never felt that leadership was my strong suit (I've always thought I've been a better MEMBER of things) but everyone knew that SS was always something I wanted control over. Each year I co-directed was a completely different experience (considering it was with a different fraternity every time) and the people that I worked with have become my great friends. Win or lose (And I've done both) some of my best memories were from that time.

I can't say that I have a favorite year - because I have good memories from all of them - but last year really stuck out in my mind.

It was my senior year, I had a lead part, and I spent about 3 day straight writing the script with my good friend Mikey. We got first place and the thing that I was most proud of was that we WON and we WROTE the script. Like, I wrote it. That, I think, was the most magical part about it. Oh, yeah, and the after party was fun too.

But it's weird to think that was an entire year ago - and my how things have changed! I have so many good memories from the rehearsals and performances of Spring Sing, and I was lucky and blessed to be able to pursue the things that I am interested in and that I'm passionate about.

2008 - Greek Heroes

2009 - Once Upon A Greek

2010 - Greeks On The Red Carpet

Mal xoxo

Bullet Points

2011-04-08T00:42:00.000-05:00

This post will be quick and to the point- it's been a long day and I would love to finish watching this episode of Parks & Recreation, read Bossypants and go to bed!

Worked Alumni House today.
Came home.
Talked to my roommates.
Worked Pep Grill.
Had a customer tell me "You don't look like you want to be here."
I told her she was right.
Came home.
Went to SS practice to critique.
Came home.
Walked down memory lane with my roomies.

That was my day! See you tomorrow!

On Writing

2011-04-06T12:59:00.000-05:00

(Tina Fey on jumping in)

So this morning I've been thinking about writing. What I like to write, what it means to be a writer, poetry, the poets I love and the writers I love. I never really imagined myself to be a writer until halfway through college - even though I was essentially getting a Writing degree.

Whenever I started to write skits for FNL, and began excelling in my Poetry classes is when I really realized that 1. I like to write 2. I was maybe semi-good at it. Then when my sorority sisters started paying me to write things for them I kind of took pride in that. I put flyers up around the sorority house offering "ghost writing" services.

But the thing about it is I have absolutely no self-discipline. I don't think I've written a poem in about a year. I've read poetry, and I've watched YouTube videos of poets, and I've been to open mic nights but I lack the motivation to sit down and actually do it.

The reason I think why is it really opens up my mind to what's going on with ME and that's a scary thing. The spring after Summer 2009 I took Creating the Poem with my teacher, Doug for the second time, and my chapbook revealed someone who was hurt and alone - and I hadn't realized all of my actions that summer were spurred off of those feelings. It was an eye opening experience, because sometimes it's easier to ignore the hard things that happen in your life.

I'm not saying writers ARE better people than non-writers, but I definitely think they know themselves better.

But I think this whole BEDA thing is helping for sure. This summer I plan on doing a lot of writing, once everything calms down and I get into a routine. I'm actually excited! Who knows what's next... maybe and MFA? Only time will tell.

Mal xoxo

About Books

2011-04-05T12:46:00.000-05:00

So it's Day Five and I actually don't really know what to talk about. I really want to share the exciting changes that are happening in my life but it's not the time - yet and it's not the way I want to share it. Just know that I found out yesterday that April should be a very interesting month.

May 1 will be one for the books.

Speaking of books, I think I'm going to do a bit of spring cleaning. I have so many books in my room, and I feel like I'm holding on to the ones that I'll never read. I'm thinking about maybe taking a load to half-price books and selling them so maybe I can get some new ones? I get so attached to books even though there's no purpose really for the ones I have already read and don't care to read again. But I always pictured my house looking something like this:

So I never want to get rid of them. I suppose I'm kind of a book hoarder. We all have our issues, I guess. Now that I'm on the subject of books, I guess I'll give a list of the amazing books I've read as of late:

The Passage - Justin Cronin
Room - Emma Donoghue
The Story of Edgar Sawtelle - David Wroblewski
Something Borrowed - Emily Griffin (no apologies chick-lit)
The Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins

What are some good books I can read for the summer?

Mal xoxo

PS. This is great.

Monday Inspiration

2011-04-04T13:07:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling very inspired & lucky this Monday morning - mainly because of this:

(I'm seeing her perform live next weekend)

And because of this -

and also my recent discovery of TED, the fact that I got AWESOME news today, and all the possibilities that have come flooding into my life.

Short post today, but I hope you all enjoy the videos! Love love

Mal xoxo

On Music

2011-04-03T18:39:00.000-05:00

This morning I woke up, turned my iPod on, and had a mini-dance party in my room.

I recommend this way of getting up to anyone and everyone that I know. I knew as I was driving to church that my post today would be about music. Everyone loves music - it's just something that is a universal magic that we get with being alive. I thought about what I wanted to write about and I decided to make a list* of not my favorite songs, per say, but the songs that I believe define my life. The songs that are most strongly tied to my dearest memories. I texted my friends that know me musically** and asked them what songs reminded them of me. Suprisingly none of the songs on this list were songs that they said. I don't know what that says, but these songs were the ones that stuck out in my mind.

(Right click and save to download individual songs, and at the end you can download all of them)

Part Of Your World - The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid was (and still is) my ultimate favorite Disney movie. I loved it when I was little, and basically wanted to be a mermaid when I grew up. Jodi Benson was the reason I wanted to sing. This song defines so much of my childhood - I sang it at the lake, on the beach, in the bathtub, and was probably one of the first songs I knew all of the words to. Hands down favorite Disney song and that will never change.

She Doesn't Get It (Acoustic) - The Format

The funny thing about this song is that I don't know if the words affect me as much as the memories tied to listening to it. Summer nights when I was in high school, driving around Choctaw at night just to get away from my parents and putting it on mix CD's for my friends and us all singing along. I'm not sure I understand the words, but it's okay - because She Doesn't Get It.

Mission Responsible - Michael Tolcher

For a long time I claimed this as my lifesong. I think you'll have to listen to it to get why. There's not much I can even say about this song, it speaks for itself.

Gray or Blue - Jaymay

Of course, I have to have the song that reminds me of my first boyfriend. We shared a lot of music, and if it wasn't THE cornerstone of our relationship, it was awfully close. He played the song for me once and I think HE thought that's how I thought about him. I agree, he was really hard to figure out, and to this day I don't think I could fully tell you the color of his eyes. But I still love this song because that was a very sweet time in my life, and I'll never forget my first love.

A Lifetime - Better Than Ezra

I remember the first time that I heard this song. It was summer, and I was driving down Reno, and I knew that I would love this song for the rest of my life. I think it's about the power of music - music so good that you have to write music about it. It's also about taking a chance in your life- and how good it feels when you finally do. This might be my favorite song of all time.

All Songs

So those are the 5 songs that mean a lot to me - I hope you download and give them a listen because you might love them too! Until tomorrow -

Mal xoxo

* @bryce

** Michael Goodman, Sarah Rakowski, Sara King, Bryce Wallar, Mom

I'm Ready

2011-04-02T14:16:00.000-05:00

"I'm on the verge, I'm on the verge

Unraveling with every word

With every word you say, make me believe

That I won't feel your tires on the street

As I'm finding the words... you're getting away"

-Jack's Mannequin, I'm Ready

I'm going to start this out with "Things I've wanted to tweet today, but haven't because I'm afraid my followers will get annoyed".

I hate getting stuck behind the Edmond train, but the sound is comforting like freshman yr.
Runners go to Panera Saturday mornings - I like to go and act like I fit in.
I have an uncanny habit of liking bands far too late after they're popular - DCFC, Killers, Jack's Mannequin
I love when I get in my car the first time after I clean it.
I wish I could ride my bike along the beach today.
Spring is always a really productive season for me.

Last night I went out with my little Kaylie - I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I'm really thankful that I have friends like her. I didn't get that much sleep last night, but I woke up early and did day 4 of Couch to 5k. Then I hopped over to Panera for an Asiago Cheese Bagel and now I came back to my house and took a nap before getting ready for work tonight. How exciting, right?

Here's the reason for the Jack's quote: My life really is about to change dramatically - new job, new place to live, new church, new outlook on life, eating better and actually exercising - I almost feel like I'm graduating all over again.

There's a small part of me that's scared out of my mind, but the majority of me is ready to be there already.

I'm tired of waiting tables, I'm tired of feeling hungover, I'm tired of unhealthy habits and relationships, and I'm ready for some new things in my life. But actually getting rid of the old stuff is a lot harder than I thought it would be. There's comfort in those things, or else I don't think I would have been so attached in the first place.

It's hard to let go of those things that made me happy for a long time - or at least distracted me from myself- but I think I'm ready.

"I am aware, I've been misled

I disconnect my heart, my head

Don't wanna recognize when things go bad

The things that you'll accept

Except that I am finding the words... to say

I'm ready"

Mal xoxo

25 Things About Me

2011-04-01T09:27:00.000-05:00

In honor of Blog Every Day in April, I'm going to start the month off with a facebook-esque list of 25 things about me. I filled that survey out in 2009, and going back and reading it, it's fun to see how things have changed. I figure that it's a good introduction to the month, plus I don't feel like blogging about all the things that have been currently stressing me out. Letsss gooooo....

25 THINGS YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ME

When I was around the age of 10, I was obsessed with Elvis Presley. I had all of his musical-movies on VHS tape and I had not one, but two posters of him in my room. My family also took a trip to Graceland for vacation and it was like the highlight of my life. My favorite Elvis movie is Girl Happy and I always wanted to be Shelley Fabre. I also had Pricilla Presely's book, "Elvis and Me" and now going back and reading it as an adult I probably shouldn't have been reading it when I was 10.
I've never had anything really important stolen from me except in 2009, I had my iPhone 3 stolen at a party. I didn't have a phone for a week because I was staying in a house with no landline. It was seriously the weirdest week of my life I had no contact with the outside world. But apparently the guy that stole it is in jail now.
I drink my coffee black with just a little bit of creamer and I'm sort of becoming a java addict.
I'm registered as an Independent voter.
One thing that I inherited from my parents is my hair color (and kidney stones but that's for another day) and I've never dyed it because my mom would probably literally threaten my life because she always tells me that people pay thousands of dollars to get their hair the same color as mine. It's a light blonde and every time I get my hair cut at a new salon the hairdresser always comments on it. I'm lucky I don't have to dye it.
When I was little my mom let me watch the movie Alien and it traumatized me. I couldn't sleep and I would get nauseous every time I ate because I would think about the Alien coming out of the people's stomach. As soon I got over that fear she showed me the movie The Fly and it was all downhill from there. When I was little I didn't really understand the term "Movie Magic", I thought it was real.
If I had to eat one meal for the rest of my life it would have to involve avocados in some way or form.
I've had literally a job in every field. Retail, Child Care, Pet Care, Office Work, and Food Service.
My favorite TV show of all time is Friends, but 30 Rock is coming in at a close second. I do not believe that HIMYM is even SLIGHTLY COMPARABLE to Friends. Not even close. Friends DEFINED the 90's.
One of my favorite memories from college is when the girls in the sorority used to prank the fraternities. Whenever the new Greek Life Coordinator came in she said we couldn't prank any longer so the girls now don't get to experience it but those were some of my absolute favorite nights. I will never forget Britney throwing a vat of potato soup on some unsuspecting Kappa Sig's car, or when we accidently let the Kappa Sig house dog out and had to chase it all over campus, or when we took a boy from each fraternity hostage and dyed their hair pink. I don't remember a time where I've ever laughed that hard.
I was witness to probably the only time Sara King has said the F-word.
I say ya'll an alarming amount of times when I'm waiting tables.
I could watch The Real Housewives of Orange County over and over and over again.
I didn't know who NSYNC was for a really long time and whenever we would play on the playground, everyone would make Chris my boyfriend but I didn't know the difference.
If I ever get a dog, he/she will be named after food.
Once when I was working as a hostess/to-go girl at a restaurant I got nachos thrown on me by an angry patron.
Regardless of how much we watched it in High School, I've never seen Remember The Titans in it's entirety.
While doing this list, I have been simultaneously reading the lists of other people from 2009 and it's really blowing my mind a little bit to see how everyone (including me) has changed. And I really wanted to read Bryce's but he doesn't have one.
My favorite book is and always will be Ella Enchanted.
Whenever I'm in my car alone, I'm most likely singing. Like, Rachel Berry style singing.
I've been up for Prom Queen, Miss Choctaw (3 yrs) and Homecoming Queen (UCO) but I have lost all of those. I'm not meant to have a crown, it will make me drunk with power.
Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday and my favorite costume that I've had was a Cat-Witch. Completely original, my mom even sewed my tail.
My first car with a Pontiac Grand Prix that was two cars welded together. I loved that car so much because it represented freedom and my first love - but it was really a POS.
One of my favorite things about HS was Drama - I think the Drama kids were popular but it's really hard to convince anyone who DIDN'T go to Choctaw of that fact.
I've been thinking lately about the decision that I made to come to UCO and how my life would be totally different if I hadn't met everyone here that I did. I'm not sure what my life would be like but I don't know if I would want to find out...

So that's it! My 25 Things About Me... I really enjoyed writing that so I hope you enjoy reading. See you all tomorrow!

Mal xoxo

Thursday Thoughts

2011-03-10T09:51:00.001-06:00

"Eyes shut tight as we venture to another place,

As we listened to the music play,

I can't remember what I had to say."

-Kara's Flowers, The Great Getaway

This post will be in the form of bullets, because I'm not sure my mind can actually form a complete thought.

I actually don't know how I'm functioning as well as I am when my room looks the way that it does. I still haven't unpacked from Texas and I've been working 12-hours days ever since I got back, so there's just a lot of stuff all over. It's bad. Katelyn is having mini-nervous breakdowns even just looking in my room. I've even fallen over my suitcase a few times. WHY DON'T I JUST CLEAN IT? Who knows.

I have also been "feeling" a lot lately. Like Monday at the gym, I was watching (actually reading the captions) the "Women Tell All" special of The Bachelor and I started crying because I felt so bad for the women that just wanted to find love! Don't ask. I looked like a crazy person. I've also been feeling pretty restless, and spontaneous. A year ago I would have never ordered a bathing suit online. It's such a risk! Whatever.

I spent my Wednesday night filling out The Amazing Race application with Jessica. My. Life. Is. So. Random.

I think I'm finally to the point where I like beer. I like having a beer with my meal. I can drink a whole one. I can chug small amounts of beer. This is exciting because 1) It's cheaper than liquor 2) I like being able to experience life through food and drink and there's so much history and life when it comes to alcohol 3) I won't have to turn down a beer because I don't like it. I remember my mom told me once that she had to make herself like beer and I feel like I did kind of the same thing. It feels kinda cool.

Lately I've been interested in how humans spend their time. I heard once that you spend 2 whole years of your life standing in line. Think about how much time that is! What you could have been doing instead?! That made me think about how much time we spend in a car (5 years) how much time we spend listening to music (I couldn't find anything on this) and how much time I personally spend singing (I think really a lot. Like more than normal people. At least all the time I spend in my car) It just makes me think, you know?

A week from today I would have traveled in a 9-passenger van 12 hours to my 2011 Spring Break destination, Destin, FL. I'll let you know how that goes.

I wonder if when I look back on this season of my life will it appear to me as a giant dream? This past few months have been crazy.

"And we'll proclaim that we

don't know how long we'll be

As we kiss the world goodbye

Kiss the world goodbye"

Mal xoxo

My Thoughts At The Moment...

2011-03-07T22:19:00.000-06:00

Mal xoxo

If You're Going To Play In Texas...

2011-03-06T21:59:00.000-06:00

... You've gotta have a fiddle in the band.

This weekend I took time off to visit the town of College Station, TX, for a friend's birthday. I love that I have the type of life that I can take off work and just go explore someplace new - that's what I think the exciting part of life is. The purpose of this trip was to two-step, eat Tex-Mex, support Sarah in her Qudditch match and party for her birthday, and we definately accomplished all of those things! I'm so bad at taking pictures but I do have a few from inta.gram, (mostly because I'm obsessed with that app)

Cowboy Boots the entire time!

The most amazing meal I've ever eaten.

Stuffed chicken and cheese avocado.

If anyone knows me at all...

they know I'm obsessed with avocados.

Quidditch... A full contact sport played with brooms.

Bottlecap Alley.

When we went out, there was an alley way that was completely filled with bottle caps. I love things like that - and I'm not sure why but I think part of the reason is because it makes traveling so much more fun.

We basically took naps and watched TV and then went out at night - it was really relaxing but I'm super tired now. I feel like it's really good to sometimes go somewhere else for awhile and exist in another place. I'm so lucky to be able to experience different things and meet new friends while doing it. Sometimes I feel so drained from working 12-hour days but I just have to remember there's a reason why I have been doing it.

March has been kind of a crazy month so far. Tomorrow is my Mom's birthday, this weekend our University is hosting a Semi-Final Basketball tournament that I'm probably going to be helping out with as part of my UCO job - Next Tuesday I leave for my first (and last) Spring Break trip in Destin, FL which should be très intéressant, and there's lots of new things happening in my life that I'm excited about - but can't really talk about yet.

Soon!

Until next time,

Mal xoxo

Where are the last two days?

2011-02-28T10:22:00.000-06:00

"What I love most about rivers is you can't step in the same river twice,

the water's always changing, always flowing,

but people I guess can't live like that, to be safe,

we lose our chance of ever knowing,

what's around the river bend..."

I looked at the calendar today - I'm not sure if I wasn't fully prepared for the shock of losing two days in February or what but I might have slightly freaked out about not having the 29th and 30th of this month. Where did those two days go?

Where did the last two months go?

This year has already been so interesting. Every day something incredible happens to me. There's always a new opportunity, a new friend, a new lesson to be learned. Has it always been like that? Or since I'm not sure what's in store for me on a large scale, I'm starting to notice the little things? This season of my life is one that I'm sure I'll never forget.

I'm curious to what God is trying to teach me this year. Balance isn't a quality that I have been naturally blessed with, I'm a very indulgent/workaholic/busy person and I've always been that way. It's hard for me to find the median in my work, my art, my health, my personal life, etc, etc. I'm struggling with balance in all aspects of my life. I guess that's something that I'll have to work on for the rest of my life- I better get used to it. I think I'll start with making my bed every day.

This Monday is one where I'm thinking about a lot - and I'm happy for a lot of reasons. I may not know what the future holds but I have enough faith in the world to realize that it's all good things.

Malory

Thoughts On Poetry

2011-02-10T11:22:00.000-06:00

Whenever I decided to dedicate my undergraduate degree to the English language, I never expected to fall in love with poetry. I think everyone is probably exposed to different poets whenever they're in high school.

(One rumor that was dispelled for me in college was that Edgar Allen Poe had TB and spread it to everyone he knew, thus killing everyone he loved. I swear, that false statement was bread somewhere deep in the Choctaw/Nicoma Park school district because I took a whole semester on Poe, and that was one of the only questions I asked our professor and he looked at me like I was crazy. But I swear everyone from Choctaw believes it.)

Frost, Poe, Byron (if you go to a private school), etc etc. But it wasn't until I dove head first into the study of poetry, that I really understood it. I love to talk about poetry- but ever since I've been removed from the academic scene I haven't really been immersed as much as I've liked to.

Recently Oklahoma has looked like this:

So I've had a few snow days and recently I've pulled out some of my old poetry notebooks, class aids and books of poetry, most notably Kim Addonizio. My poetry professor Doug introduced me to her the second semester I took his class. She is a gritty, raw poet that writes in a heavily female narrative. During that season of my life, I related a lot to what she wrote. It's interesting to go back and see how her poetry relates to my life now.

I haven't been writing much - or as much as I should - and I don't really know what is stopping me. Doug told us once that he didn't think writers were better people than everyone else, but he did think writers knew themselves more that anyone else. Maybe I'll be surprised/scared/angry at what I discover? Who knows.

Here's a quick rundown on my favorite Poets:

Mary Oliver - Her poem "The Sun" was one of the first poems I ever fell in love with.
Phillip Levine
Kim Addonizio
Marie Howe - Another female poet I could read for the rest of my life, and swear that she was taking the words out of my mouth
Elizabeth Bishop - What can I say? I like bad-ass girl poets.
Robert Frost - When I was in a poetry explication class, we studied him a lot. He was an American master of words. The best. Seriously. I'm not being cliche.
William Carlos Williams - I almost forgot! I wrote a HUGE term paper over him and "The Red Wheelbarrow" My thesis was he used Keat's Negative Capability theory to write it.
Doug Goetsch - My poetry professor for two semesters. He taught me a lot.

(I would also like to add that I hate Ezra Pound. He was an untalented fascist.)

I don't know what it is that draws me to this art so completely. Maybe it's way that poets contort words and put them so perfectly together so say so much. Maybe it's the way I feel when I do that myself - or when I look back on something that I wrote a long time ago, like having lunch with an old friend.

Maybe it's the putting the puzzle pieces together - to understand how the machine works. Alliteration here, slant rhyme there. Or maybe it's when the puzzle pieces don't fit at all but there's still a beautiful picture.

All I know, is I couldn't live fully without it.

Malory

Waiting

2011-02-07T11:06:00.000-06:00

Waiting tables is one of the those jobs where it's hard and it's easy all at the same time. I worked Friday night, and Doubles on Saturday and Sunday. By Sunday afternoon a lot of things were happening -

I started to irrationally hate people that ordered coffee and cream because it takes a few seconds longer to prepare.
I told the host not to seat me because I was taking refuge in the back of the restaurant eating soup
There was no one in the restaurant except for a lonely old man at the bar drinking a Starbucks icee drink, and a table full of Asians, all watching the Superbowl commercials.
I started to irrationally hate anyone that asked me for a refill on their Dr. Pepper.
I tried to have heart-to-hearts with my customers.
I was eating everything off the cook's line. Literally.
I started to irrationally hate anyone that decided to eat there/even look in the restaurant to maybe ponder if they wanted to eat there.

Finally when I got to go home, it was the best feeling in the world to be off work.

I'm a waitress right now. I have a strong feeling that I'm in this place for a reason. The people that I have met I've formed deep relationships with - they need me and I most certainly need them. I'm humbled every single day by how hard they work just to make a comfortable living for themselves. I definitely haven't seen anything like this in Edmond - where friends always have their parents to back them up - they can get full time jobs with insurance because they're not international or have problems with their taxes - most of my friends in Edmond have never been married and have no kids- and it blows my mind that I haven't ever been exposed to people with experiences like that.

Either never been exposed to it, or have never been unselfish enough to ask about them.

The crazy thing is, is that's how life is. Everyone has a different story to tell. Is it our job to discover them? Is that's why we're here?

Mal xoxo

The Time I Crashed Homeschool Prom

2011-01-26T12:03:00.000-06:00

Living in Oklahoma, there's not really a lot to do on the weekends. No music festivals, not really a lot of concerts, and if you're under 21 there's a lot LESS to do, besides seeing The Hangover for the 5th time in a row in theaters. So my friends and I like to make our own fun/adventures/moonshine to entertain ourselves. This is how we sometimes almost get arrested.

It was the Friday night before Spring Break, and a few of us were roaming around campus, trying to find something to do.

We were hanging out by the University Center and noticed these two girls sitting outside in formal dresses. The were sitting and talking so we went up to them. They told us they were at Prom and since our University hosts local high school proms sometimes we asked them what school they were from.

After unsuccessfully trying to talk to the two girls, they went inside. We then realized what we had to do. We had to re-live our high school days and crash the Home-School prom. It was the perfect plan. Hidden in plain sight. No one would reveal our true identities since no one would know that we were impostors. This was serious business. We synchronized our watches and said that we would meet back up at the UC in 15 minutes. My roommate and I went back to our house and put on our formal dresses and slapped some makeup on our faces. We raced back to the University Center and tried to form our plan of action.

We ended up on the 4th floor, trying to find a way into the dance without anyone suspecting that there was anything out of the ordinary. We sent Marco out to investigate.

Without following him. He called us to let us know security was lax. We then had to do or die- if not crash the prom then to retrieve Marco. So we walked into the ballrooms like we knew exactly what we were doing and started snapping pictures.

We ate the chocolate covered strawberries and drank punch, danced in the middle of the floor while taking pictures. We even got professional pictures taken. A few parents might have been suspicious, but whenever the dance ended, they didn't say anything to us. We never got caught, and it was probably one of my favorite memories of college ever.

xoxo Malory

Ellipses & Tortilla Chipses.

2011-01-13T11:22:00.000-06:00

I bought blue tortilla chips yesterday, just for the fact that they're blue.

I read this book once where the main character's mom found joy in buying blue food, because her boyfriend told her that there was no such thing. So it became a joke for the boy and his mom, trying to find anything and everything in the grocery store that was blue. So now I have the natural attraction to food that's blue. Blue is my favorite color. Jello, blueberries, blue Kool-Aid. Thus the blue tortilla chips. Jury's still out on the taste.

Let's not talk about me today, let's talk about you. Frankly, I'm sick of me. Let's talk about blue food and other incredible things in life.

The other day I was remembering whenever my parents and I wanted to go see a movie, we looked up the time in the newspaper. Now I can't even remember the last time I held a newspaper. (Per the Gazette, I am an Oklahoman)

Also, last night when I was on the StairMaster, I thought about how incredibly hard it is to focus while climbing on one of those things. Does it just take practice? Will I ever get to level 7? Why can the teenage boy in the EMHS hoodie go faster and longer than me? Does that make me less of a woman? Maybe I should switch gyms.

This morning when I was getting ready for work, I put on Jay-Z's 99 Problems. This is an amazing song to start your day with.

Whenever you tell someone you've graduated college, and they say "Welcome to the real world", it really bugs me. Are they assuming that my world for the past 22 years has been unreal? Are they hoping that it will suddenly occur to me that I've been living in a dreamworld since I was born? Because it's not going to happen. The earth didn't implode as I walked across the stage in my cap and gown, and I'm still learning from life every single day - just without those pesky professors and long research papers. Shouldn't that make my life better?

Here I go, talking about me again.

I really wish that these blog entries were formed like a circle, but lately I've been just one giant ellipse.

Maybe next week.

Mal xoxo

Winter Thoughts...

2011-01-10T10:45:00.001-06:00

This morning I woke up to my alarm clock going off at 6:50 AM. I thought to myself "That's a mistake" and I rolled over and slept until 8:45.

It wasn't a mistake. I set my alarm that early so I could go to the gym this morning. Obviously didn't happen.

How can one possibly go to the gym in the morning when it's snowing? Not an option.

I guess the West Coast girl in me will always hate the snow and the cold. I would rather suffer through 100 degree weather than trek through Edmond while it's snowy/wet/cold. Just part of my personality.

So I'm working both jobs currently, hoping to save some money for some projects I'm anticipating. I know completely that I'm going to be working my tail off for the things that I want to do and I'm going to be tired 100% of the time.

Wish me luck!

Mal xoxo

Disney World

2011-01-06T10:09:00.000-06:00

"You've just graduated college, what are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to Disney World!"

And that's exactly what I did.

The thing about buying plane tickets is that they're non-refundable. Like, you purchase them, and no matter what happens you can't get your money back. You better be excited - like this -

Which is the exact text messages I sent to my friend who was already planning on being down there. Kaelyn, who is probably my oldest friend from college, was a CP for Disney one semester of her college career and continues to work seasonally in Tomorrowland, so she had the hookup with the place to stay (which was so nice) and the tickets to Disney. Also she knew all the "back ways" around things, like how not to wait in line or the coolest spot to watch the fireworks.

It was so nice just to pack up my things and go to Disney and escape for a few days and not have to worry about anything else but what kind of mouse ears I was going to wear that day. We hit Epcot and Hollywood Studios and Magic Studios and it was so much fun the whole time I was there! We watched the Lunar eclipse on one of the Resort beaches and we watched the holiday fireworks from the Top of the World. I kept thanking Kaelyn and her friend David (who also hooked us up with a bunch of Disney perks) because everything was seriously- magical. I had an amazing time.

There's been so many buzz words around me lately - "Graduation" "Grown-Up" "The Real World" that darkens whatever glimmer of hope that I have for getting older. I try not to think of myself as a negative person because in actuality I'm not at all. I feel like there's such cynicism in the minds and hearts of my immediate peers. Just because you're out of college doesn't mean you can't still have fun, right? Every day something incredible happens to me. It's like they graduate and all of a sudden their middle/upper-class life is a hellhole. I've seen a lot worse off. I wait tables with people that can't go to school because they've had a kid, or they have to take care of their parents, etc etc and sometimes I can't believe just how damn lucky I've been these past 22 years. It's been pretty good since '88, if I do say so myself.

I guess this post turned into something that I didn't expect it to. I guess that's why I like writing so much - things come out of the woodwork when you lease expect it.

Mal xoxo

M.I.A.

2011-01-05T13:11:00.000-06:00

I've been missing in action for the past three weeks - and a lot has happened. I will now recap in bullet formation.

Graduated college
Impulse bought a plane ticket to Orlando, FL the DAY AFTER GRADUATION
Had a graduation party
Flew to Disney World the next day
Played at Disney World for free practically thanks to a few friends
Came back to OK and had a relaxing -Christmas
Saw old friends and reconnected with them on another level
Worked the after-Christmas rush at the restaurant
Played some more and got way too drunk with old friends the NIGHT BEFORE NEW YEARS WTF
Had my first (and last) experience with Fourlokos
Got offered another job - and turned it down.
Had a wonderful NYE and NYD - didn't drink at all hardly
Came back to my "day job"
All sprinkled with some major risk taking on my part....more on that later....or maybe not...

When I graduated, the world didn't implode. In fact, the exact opposite happened and I went to Disney World.

And now it's 2011. For the past 3 years (maybe more) I've written a long ass letter about the new year and all the things I'm going to accomplish. Maybe I'm getting older or maybe I'm just lazy but I think I'm going to keep it to bullets again. I'm trying to be natural about my life and let it happen the way it's going to. So here's the things I want to do in 2011.

Collect $2 bills
Skydive
Be a part of a Flashmob
See Route 66
Write
Tattoo
Simplify
Live with the fact that every day something incredible happens to me.

Mal xoxo

I'm a waitress.

2010-12-12T23:45:00.000-06:00

I firmly believe in Karma.

I also believe that everyone should be on a waitstaff in a restaurant at some point in their lives, or else know how to TREAT a waitstaff when they eat at a restaurant.

This post is a product of my reflections as a Server in a popular Italian restaurant. I've been waitressing for about 6 months and I've definitely learned A LOT about the food industry, sociology, how to multi-task and how to treat waiters and waitresses whenever I go out to eat. Lately our restaurant has been really busy because we're located in the south wing of a popular shopping mall and you guessed it - it's Christmas season. Non-stop shoppers, all day long. It's been stressful but definitely lucrative.

THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT WAITRESSING

Getting stiffed on a tip.
Rude teenagers that have probably never had a job before- making you run all over and then leaving you less than 10%
Sidework, rolling silverware and cleaning.
You can't be hung over and wait tables.
When it's slow and you're just bored.
How unsteady the money flow is.

THINGS I LIKE ABOUT WAITRESSING

Cute kids that come in and it's their birthday, and so you work harder to make it extra special.
Whenever our head cook makes us yummy treats like fried rice, soup and lets us eat different desserts.
All the inside jokes that the servers have and different phrases mean NOTHING to anyone that doesn't work there.
The regulars - enough said, the good AND the bad.
Knowing that at the end of the day, you worked your ass off and deserved every single penny that you earned- and actually having the cash money in your pocket.

I like waiting tables for the most part, and will probably keep doing it for awhile to make money while I'm traveling. It's easy fast money, and I love the people.

Mal xoxo

The one with CHRISMUATION

2010-12-10T15:08:00.000-06:00

I may or may not have one final standing between me and PURE FREEDOM.

Yes, that's right. As soon as I finish my online final next week, I will be DONE WITH SCHOOL. FOREVER. Okay, probably not forever because who am I kidding, I'll probably end up in graduate school eventually.

Just not now.

After I finished my assignments this week, I immediately started cooking and cleaning and doing laundry. That's one bad habit that I have, I let those things slide whenever I get a tiny bit busy. Now all my friends look at my room in shock and awe.

"It's clean.", they say.

The completion of finals made way from the entrance of the Christmas spirit. Right now all I want to do is make Oreo balls, watch The Santa Clause and drink wine. Which I probably will do all of those things this week. Repeatedly. And attend Christmas parties. And host my Graduation party.

And read "Conquering Your Quarter-Life Crisis" on my iPad.

Don't say I don't have goals!

Actually, after these few weeks my social networking marketing job will pick up - because I'll have time for it, and I'll be planning lots and lots of trips around the US (all while trying to wait as many tables as possible) and going to my University job, while applying for different freelance jobs and volunteer positions (more on that later), taking yoga classes and writing a novel.

I guess I won't have as much time as I thought...

Mal xoxo

What Day Is It?

2010-12-06T19:36:00.000-06:00

I'm currently sitting in my kitchen, chowing down on a homemade cheesy-crust pepperoni pizza, listening to John Mayer. Be jealous.

Or don't be jealous, because it's finals week.

Said pizza:

I only have a few things to finish up before this semester is over. It's unreal. A few days ago my graduation announcements came in, my cap and gown have been ordered and it's almost here. Today when I was driving home from work, I got a little bit weepy (yes, again) because I was listening to "Stop This Train" by John Mayer. If you've ever heard that song, you know it's sad in the first place, but imagine being a college graduate- the first of my roommates and close friends with no plans in the foreseeable future.

Waterworks.

I've been trying to let go and do things naturally, but it's one of the hardest things that I've ever had to conquer. My ego, that is. I need to let go. Of everything.

I'm listening to "Christmas Lights" by Coldplay. I'm usually not a fan of Christmas music, but this song is alright.

My Brain is Melting...

2010-12-05T14:32:00.000-06:00

Maybe it's because I'm in a transitional period of my life.

Maybe it's because I broke down and bought "Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis" (on my iPad, there was no way I'm explaining THAT to a Barnes & Noble worker)

Maybe it's because I'm graduating IN TWO WEEK with little to no plans.

Maybe it's because of the holidays.

Maybe it's because I'M very much single.

Maybe it's because I'm an only child...

But I can't take all the relationship talk that's going on in my life!

I have always had this insatiable urge to do something amazing with the life I've been given. Relationships, dating, boys, etc has never been something that has taken the forte in my life. I'm always trying to figure out someone's story, or create art or better myself and I get so frustrated when others aren't doing the same! The other day I watched Eat, Pray, Love and at the beginning when she goes to the healer in Bali and doesn't ask how to get closer to God or how to connect with nature or even better herself....but she talks about a relationship? That's crazy!

I AM living in Oklahoma. We all practically get married at 16.

That's that thing. And I have so many wonderful friends that are like me. That understand the urgency that I have to save the world, or something like it. It just frustrates me when people don't understand it.

I realize that when you commit to someone you are essentially becoming one person. But what kind of person is that going to be when you haven't even figured yourself out?

I need to pray about this - about easing my frustrations and about my purpose in life. It shocks me to think that the people around me think they already know what they are set on this earth to do. How can they?

Mal xoxo

Part of Your World...

2010-12-04T12:44:00.000-06:00

I've been particularly weepy today - here's why:

I got to have a long, leisurely breakfast with Cyndi. After years and years she continues to be an amazing source of encouragement and inspiration to me. Graduating college is a scary step and although no one can tell me the exact right path though the dark, I'm very blessed to have people that light the way. We talked about everything under the sun, from Graduate School, boys, going through a quarter-life crisis and wine. For the past two years she's been living six hours away, and soon that is going to change. I'm so happy to have her back in my life (although we kept in touch through letters). I was so happy when I left - resulting in me being a bawl-baby driving down 15th street in my Honda.
This is going to sound crazy - and it doesn't really matter because there probably isn't anyone out there reading this blog, but everyone changing their facebook profile pictures to cartoons? I changed mine to Ariel (obviously) and then started listening to Disney music religiously. Let me say that I have been listening to "Just Around The Riverbend" my whole life but never has it applied to my life more than it has now. And "Bonjour", "Part of Your World", etc. I find solace in the quest of these strong female heroines - wanting to be a part of something so much more. Ariel and Belle will always be my favorites. I also have some exciting news about Disney - which I won't share quite yet.
I'M GRADUATING COLLEGE IN TWO WEEKS. IF THAT'S NOT THE CRAZIEST THING EVER. I feel like I'm seriously about to go through an academic break-up, I know it's going to be hard to say goodbye to college, even though being out of the sorority has a helped a little bit. I just want to see the world! Is that not so bad?

Mal xoxo

Thanksgiving Break: Day 1.

2010-11-24T22:42:00.000-06:00

It's a rare and beautiful thing when I have three days off. In a row. I have three jobs and whenever the heavens align so I can spend some time doing the things I want to do - and not have an internal clock ticking away, then it's a good day. Plus, Thanksgiving is my second favorite Holiday - after Halloween. It's allowance to be a slug all day, cook, eat, drink, and then (on Black Friday) shop.

My routine today - I got to sleep in for the first time in forever. I got up and watched Glee on Hulu with my roommate while I ate a breakfast of peanut butter toast and cheesy eggwhites. Yum. Then I spent some QUALITY time in the gym - 30 minutes on the elliptical and 30 minutes in my couch to 5k program (which I've done Day 1 like 3 times... hopefully this time it will stick). I'm still a little afraid of the weight room - I think I might need a buddy the next time I want to tackle it. I'm always happy when I can zone out and not think about what time it is and what I need to do as soon as I go home. After I got home I ate some lunch - a turkey sandwich with alvacado (which I've been seriously addicted to lately) and then packed my stuff and headed to my parents house.

For the past few hours I been chilling on the couch watching sitcoms with my parents - which is a ritual that we uphold every time I come home. It's really relaxing whenever I come home. I can just veg out on the couch and watch their AWESOME TV and not really worry about how I look or what I'm doing. My Dad also has a treadmill in the garage with a TV so I think tomorrow I'll continue my couch to 5k. My roommate and I decided to run a 5k together sometime soon so it will be good to have something to train for.

(My roommate and I after each of our respective runs)

Tomorrow I plan to watch my dad make Thanksgiving lunch, watch movies, and maybe explore the blog-o-sphere. Adios!

Mal xoxo